


They Can't Take That Away From Me

by CeSelle29



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: And More Fluff, Assistant District Attorney Lexa, Costia is dead, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, I promise, I swear this will end happy, I'm Sorry, Lots of Music, Medical Resident Clarke, Piano player Lexa, Romance, Titus the cat, bar au, eventual angst, eventually so fluffy you'll die, happy endings, like cavity inducing fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-28
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-06-05 00:27:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6682111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeSelle29/pseuds/CeSelle29
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in Philadelphia, Clarke is a resident at a local hospital, Lexa is an Assitant District Attorney. Clarke just broke up with Finn and isn't looking for love, but she stumbles upon a beautiful brunette one night in her local bar playing the piano. Sometimes it isn't until you've stopped looking for love that the right one comes along.</p><p>____<br/>Also known as the Clexa Bar AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. But Not For Me

**Author's Note:**

> My first series, oh boy... Here goes nothing!

The bar was all but empty, excepting a few of the regulars, the lights still dim. Clarke tapped the counter again with her glass, grabbing Lincoln’s attention.

“I think I need to cut you off.” Lincoln tried to take the tumbler away from Clarke’s hand.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “It’s not like you have to worry about me driving home. I live right around the corner Linc.” Although what Lincoln heard was more akin to “It’snot like you tworry drive hooooome. I live riiiiiiiiiiiiight around ‘da corna Linc.”

“It’s a Tuesday night, Clarke. I knew I shouldn’t have let you start in on the tequila.”

“Psssh tequila is my best fwiend.”

Lincoln filled a glass with water and placed in front of Clarke. “No, I’m your best friend tonight, which is why you’re drinking at least 3 of those before I let you leave.”

“Fiiiiiiiiine!” Clarke stared down at the water.

_It’s not fair. Why do boys always have to be so stupid?_

She hated Finn. She hated that he had made her the other woman. She took a sip from the glass and let it *thunk* back on to the counter, followed by her head.

“Hey! Be nice to your head, it’s going to hate you enough already in the morning.” Clarke chose to ignore Lincoln’s advice, banging her head against the bar a second time before groaning.  She rolled her head to the side, following her finger as she trailed it through the condensation from her water glass. Clarke huffed before she sat up and continued sipping the water. 

The smooth sounds of the piano hit her ears.  Somehow the small upright in the far corner of the bar was always forgotten.  It was rare for Trikru to have any live performances these days and so the keys sat there mostly collecting dust.

_Who could possibly be playing at 12:30 on a Tuesday?_

Clarke spun on her bar stool, swiveling to look at the piano. Her eyes fell on a back straight as a board and long brown hair, braided and twisted in a clear effort to tame its wild nature. Clarke tried to catch a glimpse of the girl’s profile, but was denied due to the angle of the piano bench. What Clarke did not miss were the long fingers that were slowly dancing their way across the keys.

“Jeez, Griffin… you trying to catch flies?” Lincoln punched her in the shoulder. Clarke’s jaw snapped shut as she turned a quizzical look towards her bartender.

“Before you ask, her name is Lexa. And yes, she’s been playing all night. You’ve just been too busy nose-deep in tequila to notice.” Lincoln scoffed, chuckling as he refilled Clarke’s water glass.

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“The same reason you didn’t notice, you’re too drunk. I love ya, Griffin, but I know you too well. You want a one night stand to forget Finn.”

“WELL DUH LINC!” Clarke cried, probably too loud for the nearly empty bar. Lowering her voice only slightly, “I just mean get knocked down, get back up, right?”

“No, Clarke, that’s not what that means…” Lincoln rolled his eyes “Lexa isn’t the girl for a one night stand. Trust me. Drink your water, Clarke. You need to go home.” Lincoln inched the glass closer to Clarke. She sulked before resuming gulping down the water and went back to listening to the piano.

The girl, _Lexa_ , she reminded herself drawing out the “a” in the name in her mind, seemed to be playing jazz. Although, what song she was playing seemed to escape Clarke at the moment. It sounded so familiar though, and so forlorn.

_You’re probably just projecting what you’re feeling into the music… You really are too drunk for this. Lincoln’s right. Go home._

And so, two songs and two glasses of water later, Clarke had paid her tab, collected her things and headed out into the night.  Her apartment really was only half a block away, but even that distance combined with the amount of tequila she had in her system had her falling onto her mattress.

 

The next morning Clarke was hating herself. She had the afternoon shift at the hospital and clearly needed to “banana-bag” herself. Grumbling she stumbled to the shower before looking at herself in the mirror. Remembering her conversation with Lincoln the previous night, she was thankful he sent her home. Mascara and eyeliner were pooled under her eyes and she was sure that had been there before her face landed on her pillow. Her eyes were still puffy. Her hands gripped the sides of the sink as she remembered why she had ended up at Trikru drowning in tequila in the first place.

_Finn._

She cranked the hot water on, starting the shower and filling the bathroom with steam as she stood under the stream.  He had acted so surprised when Clarke ended things. How he hadn’t been expecting that after Clarke learned about Raven she still could not fathom. Men could be so selfish sometimes. She sighed, trying to shake off both the hangover and the coating of betrayal that had settled on her heart over the past few days. Clarke turned off the shower and got ready to head into the hospital.

The day was as fast paced as usual, and yet every time she had a moment to breathe Clarke found her mind occupied. At first it was the thoughts of Finn bringing fresh bile to her throat. As the day wore on the memories of the bar the night before clarified.  She saw the brunette seated on the piano bench and remembered Lincoln telling Clarke her name.

_Lexa._

Lincoln acted as though he knew her, but Clarke was a pseudo-regular at Trikru and had never seen her before.  The mystery of what this Lexa looked like crept into her brain, burning and simmering more and more with each passing hour. How pointed was her nose? How defined were her cheek bones? How obvious were her clavicles? What color were her eyes? The never-ending list of the questions had Clarke carrying herself back to Trikru after her shift had ended.

Octavia was standing at the bar, shaking some sort of cocktail up for a different brunette sitting at the bar.  Clarke’s hopes had been raised until she realized the hair was much too short to be her mystery piano player. Clarke shivered as she remembered the long fingers and how they had tickled the keys. If the keys had been human they would have felt honored, graced by the presence of the elegant, clearly knowledgeable fingers.

Clarke made her way to the other end of the bar, grabbing the same stool that had been her home the previous night. She caught Octavia’s eye and ordered a rum and coke, deciding to avoid the tequila tonight.  O handed Clarke her drink before excusing herself. The bar still wasn’t buzzing, though it was more crowded than the previous night.  Wednesday was trivia night though, and Clarke quickly face palmed.

_Of course she’s not going to be here, you’re always here for trivia and you’ve never seen her before. Where the hell is Lincoln?_

As if on cue, Lincoln came back into the bar from the back room. Clarke flagged him down after he had helped Octavia with the latest customer rush as the bar filled for trivia. Lincoln sauntered over, “Ah, glad to see you survived your bath in tequila last night.”

“Yeah, thanks for the water and for making me leave.” Clarke laughed.

“What can I say, Clarke… I know my customers.” Lincoln pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows, “something on your mind?”

“Actually, now that you mention it. I wanted to ask you about that girl last night, the piano player?”

“Oh, you mean the one you barely noticed until you were neck-deep in tequila?”

“Shut up, not helping. Lexa right? Why haven’t I seen her before?”

“She tends to be in here on the days you’re not.” Lincoln trailed off.

“There’s clearly more to it than that Linc. You were borderline protective of her last night.” Clarke tried to nudge it out of him.

“Alright! She’s an old friend from college. Her job is as stressful as yours, so I let her play any time she wants.”

“When is she usually here?”

“No, Clarke. I’m not going to let you use Lexa as your rebound. It’s not going to happen.”

“See? There you go being all protective again! Why can’t I make a new a friend, Lincoln?”

“Fine, she’s in here Sunday through Tuesday’s usually. I swear if you hurt her!”

Clarke held her hands up, “Hey, I just want to get to know the girl. That’s all!”

“Whatever Griffin. I gotta get back…” He turned back to the rest of the bar and started taking orders, leaving Clarke alone to sit and stir her rum and coke.

_Sunday… I gotta wait that long, huh?_

 

 

Sunday had never seemed farther away. Each night as Clarke lay in bed, she was haunted with the image of Lexa. She hummed the melody she had first noticed Lexa playing back to herself, struggling still to find the words. It was one of those old standards from the ‘40’s? No, maybe the ‘30’s? She hummed it all through her night shift on Friday. It drove her interns crazy and they were absolutely no help at all in figuring it out. One of them suggested “Why don’t you just Shazam it if you’re so curious” before she dismissed them all in a flurry of rapid arm movements.

Clarke was hurrying down the busy city streets. The crowds were engulfing the sidewalks as she tried to make her way to Trikru. That’s when Clarke saw her, the brunette hair, twisted back intricately, almost woven into a delicate design. It’s resemblance to a web, containing the hair below was not lost on Clarke. How it seemed a natural work of art, just like that of a spider, somehow intended to lure Clarke into a trap. A most beautiful trap, that Clarke found herself desiring to find her own fingers caught. She chased after the tall back, and reached out to grasp a long slender-fingered hand. At first it seemed the fingers slid from her grasp, but then the figure turned. Clarke held her breath and then jumped back about 15 feet as the figure shifted and morphed into Finn’s face.

Clarke sat bolt upright in her bed, sweating and shaking in the darkness of her apartment. She glanced at the clock. It was 4 AM on Sunday.

_SUNDAY!_

She resigned herself to get up and head into the hospital, her 6 AM shift not that far away anyway and shook off her dream. 

The day lagged on until 4 PM when she finally trudged out of the hospital and headed home. Clarke showered off the day and found herself standing in front of her closet, struggling with what would make the right impression. She settled on her nicer jeans and a flirty top, her hair twisted back just enough to keep it out of her face.  She slipped into black stilettos and grabbed her favorite and trusted leather jacket before heading out the door and around the corner for 7 PM.

Clarke immediately felt as though she had entered a parallel “western” universe as she crossed the threshold of Trikru. The door creaked open, her heels *clacking* across the hardwood, her gaze met immediately by a skeptical Lincoln behind the bar. If she had been John Wayne, the rest of the bar would have looked to and the whole world would have stood frozen for a split second. But instead, Lincoln simply nodded to the piano in the corner, where Clarke found a familiar form seated on the bench.

Clarke inhaled deeply and walked over to the bar. “Hey, rum and coke Linc?”

“No problem Clarke, coming right up.”

She settled down on a stool and swiveled to listen to the piano. _Playing standards again, huh? Must be your thing then…_ She realizes it’s that same tune she’s been humming all week. Then the sweetest sound hits her ears as Lincoln places her drink in front of her.

“The way you hold your hat, the way you sip your tea. The memory of all that,”

The voice was so soft, it tingled as it flooded Clarke’s ears. She breathed it in as though it were air from heaven, letting it flood her with emotion.

“No, no, they can’t take that away from me.”

That was it, it was Gershwin. How could she have forgotten? Her dad would sing it to her mom all the time as they had danced around the living room. Clarke’s eyes were welling up with tears, the words coming back to her as Lexa reached the bridge.

“We may never, never meet again on that bumpy road to love. Still I’ll always, always keep the memory of, the way you hold your knife. The way we danced ‘til three.” Lexa trilled the keys as she went along, adding a personal flair to the final verse. “The way you changed my life! No, no they can’t take that away from me. No, they can’t take that away from me.” The chords danced their way to resolve under Lexa’s fingers. Someone in the other corner of the bar applauded.

Clarke wiped away her tears as she watched the bench fervently. She saw feet lift from the pedals and the body begin to swerve. Clarke’s jaw dropped.

Lexa’s face was more than angelic. Her hair pulled back almost helped highlight her high cheekbones. Her nose, which Clarke was already picturing *booping* with her finger was perky and adorable. Her jawline, cutting and yet seemingly soft enough Clarke thought it could break. But what didn’t match any of this picture were her eyes and mouth. Even from across the room, Clarke could tell Lexa’s eyes were sad, her mouth only in a half smile, as she pursed her lips. That’s when she realized, Lexa was blushing.

_She’s embarrassed! She has the voice of an angel! Why would she be embarrassed? Maybe because you won’t stop staring at her, idiot!_

Clarke tried to force herself to turn around, but even still found her gaze following Lexa as she approached the bar. She chose a stool one away from Clarke’s and ordered a scotch on the rocks.

Clarke tried to find words, but if she didn’t know any better, she’d say the rum had gone to her head, already impairing her command of the English language.

“So, you’re the blonde who managed to drown me out with almost $300 worth of tequila last Tuesday?”

Clarke felt herself turning a brilliant shade of red “Psshh, psshhh, it wasn’t $300… more like $100.”

“Ah, there it is… see if you had been drinking the good stuff, my estimate would have been accurate.”

“If it was scotch, maybe…” Clarke rolled her eyes.  She had never really had a taste for the stuff. She looked up and watched as Lexa shifted over a stool. Clarke found herself gazing into bright green eyes. Certainly not what she had been expecting, but she found herself more than content to become lost in their forest. Lexa seemed to be searching her eyes in return. They were each silent, only breaking their stares when Lincoln placed Lexa’s scotch on the bar in between them.

“Lex, you headed back over to the keys then?” Lincoln raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah, in a minute.” Lexa swirled the glass momentarily before taking a sip.  Clarke couldn’t believe the envy she felt towards the glass, perched ever so gently between Lexa’s lips.

“Just curious, that’s all.” Lincoln rolled his eyes, walking away.

“Anything you’d like to hear then Ms. Blue eyes?”

Clarke took a deep breath, aiming to hide how the nickname affected her. “Hmm, what’s that old Gershwin about writing love songs?”

“Ah, a fellow Gershwin fan, I’m impressed. I think I know which one you’re thinking of…” Lexa stood up, picked up her glass and walked back to the piano. She set her glass down and settled on the bench. She struck a single chord before her voice filled the bar “They’re writing songs of love, but not for me.”

Clarke smiled realizing that Lexa did in fact know exactly which song she had suggested. And how appropriate this song was now for Clarke. She had found herself alone yet again, though she didn’t know what she was expecting. It’s the second year of her residency, she hardly has time for a relationship anyway. That didn't mean she wasn’t lonely, and she hated it. It had only been a few days, and she was still wallowing over Finn. Heartbreak wasn’t actually a medical condition, but it might as well have been for her these days. She listened to Lexa continue to play as she gave herself an instrumental break. Clarke wandered over to the piano.

Lexa could feel Clarke behind her as she continued to play and looped back around for the final verse. She scooted over on the bench and looked expectantly at Clarke, who seemed to take the cue easily enough.  “I was a fool to love, and get that way. Hey ho, alas and also lack a day. Although I can’t dismiss, the memory of her kiss.” Clarke turned to look at Lexa when she heard Lexa’s choice of pronoun.  Her eyes quickly fell to soft lips that were so delicately parted and Clarke gulped, audibly.

“I guess she’s not for me.” Lexa played the outro and lifted her foot off the pedal. Her gaze returned to Clarke’s eyes, seemingly searching for how Clarke was feeling.

“I’m Clarke by the way. I could save your life,” the words were tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them.

“Clarke,” Clarke gasped as she heard her name cross Lexa’s lips for the first time. The “k” sounded so crisp, she thought it was the first time her name sounded beautiful to her. “I’m Lexa, and that’s quite the bold opening line.”

“Oh no, I just mean…” Clarke sighed “I just mean, I’m a doctor. Or I will be, I’m in my second year of residency.”

“Ah, that explains it. Well, Clarke. Lucky for you, I happen to be a fan of bold moves. I make them in the courtroom consistently.”

“Ah, lawyer. That makes sense. Lincoln mentioned your job was as stressful as mine.”

“Assistant District Attorney, to be precise. So you’ve been talking about me then?” Lexa looked back at the piano and began playing once again.

“Only a little. I didn’t realize you were such a ‘standards’ girl though.” Clarke recognized “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” as Lexa began playing it.

“Oh, you’ll find my standards are quite high.” Lexa raised her eyebrows without turning away from the keys.

“If they’re anything like your taste in scotch, I fear for my eligibility.” Clarke sighed, shrinking visibly next to Lexa.

Lexa scoffed, “Fear not Clarke. I do not judge so quickly. I’ll give you ample time to present your case before I decide if your heart shows signs of weakness. I do expect my friends to be able to keep up with me.”

Clarke froze, was she seriously just “friend-zoned”? That had to be a new world record. Then she remembered Lincoln’s warning, hadn’t she agreed to try and make a new friend anyway? She sighed internally, but tilted her head towards Lexa, “Is that a challenge, Lexa No-last-name?”

“Yes it is Clarke Also-no-last-name. Do you accept it?” Lexa moved through the bridge of the song, and into the final verse.

“Challenge accepted.” Clarke nodded firmly.

Lexa finished playing and turned to face Clarke on the bench. “Back to the bar then?” She gestured to where they had been sitting.

Clarke stood up and held out her hand, “If you’re ready to leave the people without their entertainment.”

“It’s not like Lincoln’s paying me… I’m hardly a booked act.” Lexa chuckled, grabbing her scotch glass instead of Clarke’s hand and walking over to the bar.

Clarke followed, “No, but if you don’t mind me saying, with the way you play and sing, he should be.” _There it is again!_ Clarke smiled as Lexa flushed bright pink and kicked back the rest of the scotch in her glass. “Where did you learn to play like that?”

“Piano lessons from age 5.” Lexa stared at her empty glass.

“Ah, one of those kids eh?” Clarke caught Lincoln’s eye and asked him for another round for both of them.

“Yes and no. My parents didn’t force me, it was my choice. I kind of begged them for the lessons. I’ve always loved music.” That half-smile crept back across Lexa’s face, Clarke was starting to become fond of it, but wondered why it refused to grow any bigger. Was Clarke making her too uncomfortable? Why did it look like she hadn’t smiled or laughed in ages?

“Then why go into law?  You’re clearly talented, I think you would have made a brilliant musician.” Clarke hoped she wasn’t overstepping the boundaries of polite conversation. The buzz was starting to radiate at the front of her head.

“Ah, I suppose I could tell you it’s because I also have a passion for seeing justice done. Or I could try to make you laugh and say it’s because I’m REALLY good at arguing. Or I could say that’s there’s far more money in law than in music, which is unfortunately the sad, but true fact.” Lexa lifted her eyes to meet Clarke’s. There was something guarded about them, a cross between holding back tears and concealing a terrifying truth. Clarke could find no words but nodded and took a sip of her drink. “So why medicine then? Actually, what are you focusing on for your residency?”

Rushing to swallow, Clarke answered “Oh, internal medicine for now. I’ve never wanted to be a surgeon. I never got a thrill from cutting in medical school. My mom is a doctor, she has her own family practice in Drexel Hill.”

 “So adult internal medicine then?” Lexa’s tone was genuinely inquisitive. It seemed Clarke had her interest piqued.

“Well, I’ve been considering going into pediatrics, but I’m in the middle of my Neurology term. The brain is a truly frightening organ.” Clarke took a long swig of her drink, desperate to keep her cool.

“Ah, I’m sure...” Lexa would have continued, but the William Tell Overture was suddenly coming from Clarke’s pocket.

Clarke pulled her phone out, “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry… This is the hospital, I just need to take this.” Clarke was incredibly embarrassed. She ran to the door to answer the call outside.

Lexa watched from across the bar, out the window. She giggled as she saw Clarke stomp her foot and bring her hand to her forehead. She looked very concerned, but very agitated as Lexa saw her roll her eyes.

Clarke came back into the bar and hurried over to her stool. “I’m so sorry, Lexa. I’m not even on call, but a patient I’m listed on the chart is having seizures again. My boss just asked me to come in. I was really enjoying our chat though.”

Lexa slouched slightly on her stool as if in disappointment. “As was I…” Clarke was too busy gathering her things to notice Lexa grabbing a napkin from behind the bar. Lincoln would yell at her later for doing it she was sure. She pulled a pen out from her purse and wrote her number down on the napkin before sliding into Clarke’s vision. “So, would you maybe care to continue it over coffee sometime soon?”

Clarke could not believe what she was hearing, but had no time to get caught up in it now. “Yes. Absolutely.” She picked up the napkin and smiled. There was an awkward moment as Lexa stood up and they tried to navigate their goodbye. In desperation that she would be kicking herself for later, Clarke thrust her hand out for a handshake. Which blessedly, Lexa did return, before Clarke took off for the door at a sprint. She skidded to a stop and turned around, “Wait, I still don’t know your last name!”

“Woods, Lexa Woods. And yours Clarke?” Lexa called out, shoulders shaking with laughter.

“Griffin! Like the mythical animal!” Clarke responded before she tore out the door like a bandit.

_Huh, I think I’m going to be glad you’re not mythical, Clarke Griffin. Very glad indeed._


	2. All Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa just wants Clarke to text her. She just wants to be friends. But everyone around her seems to have different ideas...

The problem with giving Clarke her number was Lexa was stuck waiting for Clarke to text her.  Even though it was only 11:30 on Monday morning and she had more than enough paperwork to occupy her time, she couldn’t help glancing at her phone every few minutes.

“Lexa… If you’re not going to actually work on finishing that case file, you might as well join me for lunch.” Gustus was standing in the doorway of her office, how long he had been standing there was a mystery to her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Gustus, I’m working!” Lexa pouted slightly at the DA, knowing full well she could get away with it.  Lexa was very intelligent and more than capable of getting a job in any law firm she wanted; but when the man she had known for years as her Godfather (no actual blood relation) offered her a job as an ADA in Philadelphia immediately out of law school, she would have been foolish to say no.  So here she was only three years post-law school and already had an office to herself.

“Lexa, I’ve been watching you for 5 minutes. You haven’t turned a page, you’ve been chewing on the end of that pen and looking between your laptop screen and your phone with glazed over eyes. You clearly need a break, let’s go get lunch.” His tone was gentle, but authoritative.

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Fine.” She pushed herself away from the desk, not entirely eager to leave her extremely comfortable desk chair, grabbed her bag and followed Gustus out the door, closing and locking it behind her.

“Where to then? What are you in the mood for, Heda?” Gustus asked as they walked out of the building and down the closest side street.

“I’ll never live that name down, huh?” Lexa turned bright red when Gustus brought up her self-proclaimed title from age 7. Her days of playing pretend were extremely detailed and pulling her godfather into the story to play was one of her proudest accomplishments at the time. Lexa truly believed pretending to be in control of 12 clans and having Gustus as her advisor, encouraging her to be just and fair, but also ruthless when necessary was the foundation for her desire to be a lawyer. Even though it was embarrassing to still be called Heda, she knew Gustus meant well. She just wasn’t entirely appreciative that the rest of the DA office had started to pick up on it. Her reputation for being ruthless in the courtroom wasn’t helping it die either.  “Hmmm, let’s just head over to the food court. I’m indecisive today.”

They headed off to the food court in the basement of a local hotel, and found a table away from the rest of the lunch hour crowd. Lexa placed her phone on the table and checked her notifications. _Still nothing?_  She sighed heavily as she stabbed violently at her Greek salad with her fork.

“You okay there?” Gustus nearly choked on his sushi. “What’s got your feathers so ruffled?”

To be honest, Lexa wasn’t even sure she knew why she was so upset. It wasn’t like she had a crush on Clarke, so why was she so desperate to hear from the girl? Lexa tried to convince herself it was simply because she had been enjoying the conversation they had been having. The resident seemed clever enough. Her tastes in alcohol were slightly questionable for sure, but overall she seemed sensible enough. Clarke also seemed to have decent taste in music, always a plus for Lexa when finding friends.  _She’s not exactly hard on the eyes either!_ She scolded herself… she barely knew Clarke.  “It’s nothing really, I’m just expecting to hear from someone. It’s not terribly important.” Lexa tried to sound dismissive, but nothing would convince Gustus, he knew her too well.

“Someone? A friend? Or…” He raised his eyebrows repetitively.

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Yes, a friend. You know I’m not looking for anything more right now.”

Gustus held up his hands defensively, “Okay! Okay, don’t bite my head off, Heda.”

Lexa practically growled at him before looking back down at her salad.

“You know, she’d want you to be happy.”

Lexa had suddenly lost her appetite, “You know, Gustus, I really should get back to that casework. The Pike file needs to be in by 6 PM tonight.” She grabbed her bag, put the to-go lid on her salad, picked up her tray and headed to a trash can. After throwing the rest of her lunch away, she stormed off leaving her godfather behind and headed back to the office.

Unlocking her office, Lexa stepped inside and slammed the door in the face of her new secretary. She unceremoniously dropped her things and sank into the desk chair, quietly trying to get ahold of herself. She spun around and looked out the window, seeing City Hall and Willy Penn on top in her field of vision as she tried not to cry. Lexa took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She soon closed her eyes and relaxed, having her emotions in check. 

There was a buzz from behind her, but she thought nothing of it, figuring it was Gustus _rightfully_ apologizing for his behavior and decided to check the dreaded piece of technology later.

A knock at her door had her calling out, “Yes?”

“I’m sorry Ms. Woods, Mr. Norwood wanted to me to ask you about the Pike casefile.” Lexa looked at the secretary, she looked terrified. Lexa sighed, as usual her reputation precedes her.

She did her best to sound pleasant and not at all irritated that Roan was intentionally trying to bug her, “Yes, please tell Roan I WILL have it done by 6 PM, as promised.”

“Of course Ms. Woods.” The secretary turned and started to close the door.

“Oh Ms. Kerr?” Lexa called her back.

“Yes, Ms. Woods?” There was still a tremor in her voice.

“Please, call me Lexa. I’ll go crazy if you keep calling me Ms. Woods.” This time Lexa did manage to half-smile and she saw Ms. Kerr take a breath.

“Thank you Ms., I mean Lexa. If I may say so, calling me Emori is fine with me.”

“Very well, thank you Emori.” She chuckled, opening her laptop and hearing the door close behind Emori. She pulled out the file folder and settled in to finish writing up the report.  Lexa’s phone buzzed again, sliding across her desk. She rolled her eyes and finally picked it up to check the notification.

**(215) 555-2575:** Hey Lexa, at least I hope this is Lexa and that she didn’t give me a fake number. What am I saying, you’re a nice person! Lincoln wouldn’t be your friend if you weren’t. Not that you didn’t seem nice last night, it’s just I barely know you. Anyway, if you haven’t figured it out by now, this is Clarke Griffin. Oh lord, I did the whole “like the mythical animal” thing last night! :$ :$ :$

**(215) 555-2575:** Alright before I make an even bigger fool of myself. I really was enjoying our conversation last night and I’m sorry I had to run out. When can I take you up on that offer for coffee?

Lexa was shocked, her heart racing as she read the texts. Clarke was ranting, it was almost endearing. She chuckled as she typed back.

**Lexa:** Wow, hi there Clarke. Yes, this is in fact Lexa Woods, with whom you were speaking at Trikru last night. I’d love to meet up, what time are you free tomorrow?

Lexa didn’t think she was up for meeting with the rather vibrant girl today. Plus, who goes out for coffee after 6 PM on a Monday. Did she not want to sleep tonight? _You probably won’t anyway._ After finishing this final case report today, she was relieved of her caseload temporarily. She’d get to leave early tomorrow and Gustus would be stupid not to let her go after how he acted today.

She couldn’t understand it, but seeing the three moving dots on her screen in the text thread with Clarke forced the corners of her mouth to quirk up involuntarily. Lexa tapped the contact button and added Clarke to her phone.

**Clarke Griffin:** Really? You just accurately used ‘with whom’ in a text? Okay, Ms. Big Time Attorney. This last week of Neurology is an absolute killer, but I’m supposed to take the morning shift tomorrow. I should be done around 4. Would that be okay? Or is that too late for coffee?

Lexa laughed, apparently she wasn’t the only one who thought afternoon coffee could be excessive.

**Lexa:** What Clarke? Would you prefer I txt u like this?

**Lexa:** And no, lol. I don’t think we need to limit ourselves to coffee, I know a little place at 13 th and Pine we could go to and find alternative warm drinks. :-)

**Lexa:** Wait, maybe that’s not convenient? Which hospital do you work at? Are you over in University City?

Lexa chided herself for sending three messages in row. It felt excessive, was she ranting?

**Clarke Griffin:** OH GOD NO! Please do not text me like that. I’ll take “with whom” any day over that. And lol! Lexa, 13 th and Pine sounds perfect, I know that place. I work at PA Hospital.

Lexa let go of a breath she didn’t know she had been holding.

**Lexa:** Okay, so 4:30? Do you need a little time?

**Clarke Griffin:** Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Getting out of here can be a little tricky some days. Alright, gotta go! Looking forward to tomorrow!

**Lexa:** Okay! Me too!

Lexa put her phone down when there was no return of the ellipse at the bottom of the screen. All at once, finishing the casefile didn’t seem so daunting. She dove back into the work and proudly dropped the file on Roan’s desk at 5:30. Back in her office Lexa collected her things, slinging her computer bag over her shoulder and slipping her purse inside it. She locked her office and left the building, stepping out into the city and groaning as the humidity hit her in the face. She took off the blazer she had worn in the building and slung it across her arm before continuing home.

She waved to the security guard at the desk and stepped into the elevator pressing the button for the 21st floor, relaxing against the rail. Her ride was pleasantly undisturbed and the doors pinged her arrival soon enough. She fished her keys out of her computer bag, unlocked the deadbolt and headed into her apartment. Titus greeted her at the door, purring under her feet and around her legs. Lexa knelt down, dropping her bags and pulled her little mush into her lap. Scratching behind his ears, Lexa’s hairless pal purred like the roar of an engine.  “Happy I’m home little guy? Yeah? Me too.”

The rest of the night was like any other, she made herself dinner, fed Titus and got ready for bed. She could have gone to Trikru, Lincoln probably would have been happy to listen to her talk about her day, but the comfort of her pajamas and a giant cup of tea was all she could handle. She curled up on the couch, turned on Netflix and watched a few old episodes of Scandal.  She groaned as Olivia struggled to choose between Jake and Fitz yet again.  Eventually giving up when she could no longer keep her eyes open, she dragged herself into her bedroom and called for Titus. “Come on my little Fleimkepa, it’s bedtime. Come keep me warm.”

Titus jumped up and started to run towards her room, but halfway to through the living room he veered right instead of left. “No, Titus. We’re not doing this tonight. Don’t go into that room. Please, it’s been a long day. Come to bed or I’m shutting you out.”

The ever obedient cat seemed to pout, before he turned back around and trotted his bald butt into Lexa’s bedroom. He jumped up on the bed and settled down on his pillow on the left side of the bed, while Lexa brushed her teeth. When she was finished, she plugged her phone in to charge, closed the door and turned out the lights. Lexa crawled into bed and kissed Titus goodnight. _I hope Clarke still wants to talk after tomorrow._

 

Slamming her hand down on the alarm, Lexa rolled out of bed at 7 AM. She groaned and got herself into the shower. She was about to get dressed as usual when she remembered her coffee date with Clarke. _Oh crap. Is she going to show up in scrubs? Should I just wear normal work clothes?_ She brought her palm to her forehead. _STOP OVERTHINKING LEXA! SHE’S A FRIEND._

Slipping into a sleek pair of dark green slacks and a white with black pinstriped V-neck blouse, she added a pair of black walkable loafers and a pair of funky gold earrings. After coffee, breakfast and feeding Titus, she headed out the door, her black blazer slung over her arm.

Work was slow, and it was after noon before she heard from Clarke.

**Clarke Griffin:** Hey! Just confirming 4:30 today right? Things have been crazy all morning, so with any luck by 4 they’ll have calmed down. I’ll let you know at 3:30 if it’s looking good, okay?

**Lexa:** Yes! Sounds great, Clarke!

Lexa kicked herself. _Are you an English Major? It’s texting Lexa, not a business transaction or closing statements! RELAX_

By 3:30 Lexa was pacing her office. She couldn’t stand it, she was a nervous wreck and she couldn’t understand why. The stress sweat alone was making her question her outfit. She double-checked the clock. Her work was finished, she had no reason to stay. She grabbed her things and poked her head into Gustus’s office, “I’m headed home, okay?”

“No problem, Lexa. Enjoy the light days while they last! I’m waiting for us to get slammed. From what I understand Chief Inspector Kane is expecting an influx of arrests as we close out the summer.”  He waved towards her, only looking away from his work for a few seconds.

“Fair enough, well I’m off then!” She turned and booked it out of the building. She sprinted home, which she knew her feet would regret later and jumped back in the shower.

At 4:00 Lexa eyed her phone.

**Clarke Griffin:** Great news! All seems to be at status quo for now, so I’ll see at 4:30!

Lexa sighed in relief and started tearing through her closet. _Where is that halter I used to wear all the time?_ She found it buried under a stack of sweaters - _what?-_ and paired it with a pair of jeans and comfy flats before grabbing her purse and running out the door.

Lexa was standing outside the coffee shop, shifting awkwardly between her feet when she saw her. Clarke bouncing across Pine Street, her hair catching in the wind, her smile spread wide from ear to ear. Lexa couldn’t believe her energy, she knew Clarke had been working from 6 AM. Even still, there she was in jeans, a flowy black tank top and the most ridiculously cute ergonomic clogs Lexa had ever seen, backpack slung across her shoulders.

“Hi!” Clarke shouted as she waved emphatically from across the street. She ran up to Lexa and stepped around her to get the door to the coffee shop, “Shall we?”

“Yes, we shall!” Lexa smirked as she stepped into the shop. They both ordered iced green teas and pastries before sitting down at a table in the corner.  “So I’ve been meaning to ask, what happened with that patient?” Lexa hoped Clarke knew what she was talking about.

Her panic must have been obvious, because Clarke joked, “Oh you mean the one who so rudely interrupted our fantastic conversation with his unruly grand mal seizure? He’s actually fine. We talked about it, I agreed to up his meds if he agreed to have more appropriate timing.”

“CLARKE! Do you always talk about your patients this way?” Lexa slammed her hand across her mouth, trying to hold back laughter that was all too imminent despite feeling terribly inappropriate.

“Okay, maybe not. But I wanted to make you laugh! He really is okay though, I promise!” Clarke blushed and the barista brought over a tray with their teas and pastries.

“Thank God, you seemed pretty concerned when you got that phone call.” Lexa remembered watching Clarke’s face wash over with emotion.

“Yeah, he’s a really nice old man. A little crabby, but most of the time he’s a big mush.” Clarke chuckled. “So, other than play the piano at Trikru, what do you do for fun?”

“Ah, fun? What’s that?” Lexa tried to joke, but it sounded far more serious than she was intending.

“Ah, too much paperwork to go out?” Clarke tilted her head.

“Eh, not really. It’s just been awhile, I don’t really go out much anymore.” Lexa stared down into her iced tea and picked at her muffin.

“Hmm, that sounds like something that should be fixed sometime soon.” Clarke had a devilish grin on her face, it was almost infectious.

“Oh? I’d like to see you try, Clarke.” As the words came out of Lexa’s mouth she remembered Clarke’s utterance of ‘challenge accepted’ on Sunday night. “So, do you have any pets?”

“No, my schedule is still too crazy. I’d love to have a dog one day though.” Clarke seemed to take the redirection bait easily enough.

“What kind? Large breed or are you one of those crazy girls who wants a dog she can carry in her purse?”

“Ah hell no, no small dogs for me. Probably a yellow lab or a golden retriever if I’m perfectly honest.”

“Ha, he’d certainly look like he’d be part of your family then.” _WAIT WHAT LEXA?_

“What? Wait, because he’d be blonde too? Lexa!”

Lexa face palmed, turning what she was sure was the shade of a tomato before she and Clarke burst into hysterics. A couple across the café sent harsh stares their way. They both shrank back and quieted themselves to giggles.

“So I’m assuming you have a pet then?” Clarke seemed genuinely curious, but Lexa felt she needed to tread carefully around this.

“Yes… an adorable cat named Titus. He’s my little fleimkepa.”

“Fleimkepa?”

“It means flame keeper, he’s a furnace. He just generates heat in about a foot and a half radius.”

“Let me guess… hmm, using your logic I’m going to guess he’s a huge black and brown tabby!”

Lexa struggled to hold back her giggles yet again.  “Oh no, was I right?” Clarke asked.

“Nope, he’s entirely hairless.”

“OH MY GOD LEXA! Are you kidding me! He’s one of those cats that looks more like a rat? Does he wear sweaters all the time?”

“Hey, mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke. Plus, he’d resent hearing that. He does not look like a rat, he’s very obviously a feline. But, yes he does wear sweaters. He has several different sweaters for multiple occasions.” Lexa nodded her head and crossed her arms.

Clarke lost herself in laughter again. Lexa watched as she threw her head back, watched the curve of her neck, the peak of her chin, the jut of her collar bones. She shook herself out of her haze and took a sip of her tea. Clarke joined her and it was as though the awkwardness between them melted away. Their conversation journeyed through movies, television and literature. They talked about traveling and sights they still wished they could see. Lexa was shocked how often they were overlapping. She had been resting her hand on the small café table and while they were immersed in conversation Clarke’s fingers accidentally brushed hers. A shock ran up her spine, but Clarke was too involved in the conversation to notice the way Lexa’s hand just slightly twitched afterwards. Before they had realized it, the sun was beginning to set, it was after 7 PM already.

“Oh my God, Clarke, I’ve gotta get home to feed Titus!” Lexa stood up and grabbed her bag. Clarke stood up too. Here it was again, the awkward goodbye. Lexa had chuckled after Clarke left on Sunday after so confidently thrusting her hand forward for the handshake. But, the handshake just didn’t seem right.  So Lexa took the initiative. She opened her arms and tilted her head slightly, shrugging her shoulders.

“Aw, come here!” Clarke laughed and pulled Lexa in for a hug. Even in just that brief moment Lexa felt something unfamiliar. She couldn’t explain it, it wasn’t as though she lived without human interaction; but within that hug there was something different. Very, different. They pulled apart and Clarke nudged Lexa’s shoulder, “Alright, go feed your cat.”

“You going to be okay getting home? I mean, not that I don’t think you’re capable, just would you like company?” Lexa was feeling painfully awkward again, but the thought of Clarke, looking so cute and having a long walk home alone irked her.

“Don’t worry Lex, I live two and half blocks away.”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah, I live right around the corner from Trikru, in the Chancellor.”

“Oh! That explains why Lincoln let you walk home last week!”

“So you really were paying attention to me that night. Oh God, that’s embarrassing!” Clarke blushed, letting her chin drop to avoid Lexa’s eyes.

“Well, if you’re sure you’re okay…”

“Will you be?”

“Oh yeah, I’m in the Drake!”

“Ah two and half blocks in the other direction! Wow, small city huh?”

“Apparently.”

“Well, we should do this again soon! Text me okay? Get home to your cat!” Clarke giggled and headed up 13th Street.

Lexa waved, “Okay, will do! Thanks! Get home safe!” She turned her back and walked across Pine Street. Lexa began to understand why that hug felt different, well, why everything with Clarke felt different. Her cheeks hurt. She realized she was smiling, grinning ear to ear for the first time in what she was sure was two full years.  She had laughed, whole-heartedly for the first time in two years too. Lexa kept walking home, one hand on her cheek, amazed how much those muscles could hurt after not being used in so long. _Clarke Griffin is quite the woman._

What Lexa didn’t see was Clarke turning around to catch one last glimpse of Lexa as she walked away.

 

It was a normal sunny Thursday afternoon, hot as hell as usual for August in Philadelphia, so Lexa stuck to her usual routine. Thursdays she packed lunches and ate them in a park. Whichever park depended on how much she felt like walking at the time. Lexa grabbed her lunch bag, left the building and picked a direction. Even if she ended up taking a cab back to the office, weather permitting, she was outside for her lunch on Thursdays. So she headed east across Market Street. After seven and half blocks, there it was, Independence Hall. The days when Lexa chose to eat sitting on a bench in Independence Mall were wonderful. Most of the time she was able to keep to herself and quietly people watch.  There were the tour groups that would go by filled with grumbling high school students, their enthusiastic teachers and an even more enthusiastic, authentically garbed tour guide. She’d raise her eyebrows and follow the troublemaker kids in the back of the line as they disappeared around one corner or another, all while munching on an expertly crafted peanut butter and jelly. Natural peanut butter and fresh preserves from Redding Terminal Market always on whole grain wheat or pumpernickel. Never on white bread, she’s an adult for goodness sakes.

But as luck would have it, because it was so beautiful out all of the benches in the park were taken. Lexa sighed and found a tree to sit under. Settling in she was just about to take a bite of the sandwich she had been looking forward to all morning, when someone running by accidentally splashed some of their water in her direction. “Woah! I unlike the tree, do not require watering.” She scowled, snapping her head up to look at the runner only after making the comment.

“I’m so sorry! I’m usually not this careless!” The runner was already pleading.

Lexa found herself chuckling, “Well… Doesn’t this city just keep getting smaller and smaller, Clarke?”

“Lexa? Oh my God, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be having lunch in some big fancy conference room with air conditioning?” Clarke worked to catch her breath.

“What exactly do you really think an ADA does, Clarke? Well anyway, shouldn’t I be asking you the same question? Shouldn’t you be attending to patients and doing Neuro checks?”

“Fair enough, I was on call last night and lost a patient. My attending gave me the day off. There’s only two things I find myself doing when I’ve lost a patient. The first is always go for a long run.”

“Ouch, I’m so sorry Clarke. That can’t be easy. I usually take my lunch breaks outside on Thursdays while the weather is still good. It beats staying inside under fake light all day.  Plus, seeing some green never hurt anyone, right?”

“Absolutely, you look like you could use some vitamin D.” Clarke stuck her tongue out at Lexa.

“Oh sure, says the palest girl I’ve ever met. Do you glow in the dark, Clarke?” Lexa returned the expression.

“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Lexa!” Clarke barked back at her, finally plopping down under the tree next to her.

“Hey you started it!” Lexa punched Clarke in the shoulder.

“Wow, great defense there Ms. Attorney. Do you use that in all your cases?” Clarke laughed, as Lexa pursed her lips tightly.

“Fine, you win this one, Clarke.” Lexa sulked, staring back at her sandwich.

“I accept your surrender, Lexa.” Clarke pretended to bow, still seated next to her.

Wagging her finger at Clarke, Lexa added, “Don’t go getting excited now, that was simply one battle. You haven’t won the war yet. I won’t go down without a fight trust me.”

“Challenge accepted!” Clarke raised a fist high in the air and fell over laughing.

Lexa looked at her lunch and had a thought. She grabbed the plastic knife she had with her and cut her sandwich in half. “Hey Clarke, you hungry?”

“Oh wow, thanks! I think my run is over, but I couldn’t take your lunch!” Clarke looked around the park, seemingly seeking somewhere to get food.

“Clarke, unless you’re intending to eat Dunkin’ Donuts or want to wait in line at the food court across the street, there’s nothing quickly accessible here. I insist. Take half the sandwich. It’s peanut butter and raspberry preserves.” She wagged the sandwich in front of Clarke and took a bite out of her half. “Mmmm, I’m telling you… it’s the perfect ratio of peanut butter to jelly!”

Clarke watched Lexa and shook her head, “Alright, fine, give me half the sandwich.” Lexa watched as she took a bite, closed her eyes and sighed. “Lexa, how the hell? Why is this so good?”

“Real preserves instead of cheap store bought jelly and fresh baked bread from Redding Terminal. All natural peanut butter, I call it my ‘adult PB&J’” Lexa said proudly, lifting her head a bit.

“Well, you’ve mastered it.” Clarke added simply. They each continued to chomp away at their halves until Clarke finally said, “So I meant to ask you… what you call your cat, what language is that?”

Lexa flushed, she was thankful that the heat of the day had already turned her cheeks pink. “Oh, Fleimkepa? It’s nothing really… just a remnant of a silly game I used to play with my cousin.”

“Wait, you invented a language as a kid?” Clarke’s jaw dropped open.

“I mean, only key phrases really. We never got so far as having a full conversation back and forth, but I guess you could say that.” Lexa reached for her lunch bag and pulled out an apple and a bag of chips offering Clarke her choice.

Clarke snagged the chips right out of Lexa’s hand as she rolled her eyes. “What are you Panera? Chips and an apple with a sandwich? Anyway back to this language! Did you guys name it?”

Lexa huffed, exasperated, “We called it Trigedasleng, or Trig for short. But like I said it wasn’t really a full conversationalist language!”

“SAY SOMETHING ELSE!” Clarke was sitting up on her knees, her feet tucked up under her. Lexa thought she looked like an excitable toddler who had just been told it was story time.

“Um, I don’t know, Clarke. It was a long time ago!” Clarke just stared at her expectantly. “Fine. Ai laik Heda. Non na throu daun gon ai.”

“Wooooooooah!” Clarke gaped at her. “What did that mean?”

“I am the Commander. No one fights for me.” Lexa shyly dropped her head.

“Wait, first of all, those were complete sentences! And second… Heda? Isn’t there a drink at Trikru that’s named something like that?”

“Where do you think Lincoln got the name for his bar?”

“WAIT WHAT? Stop blowing my mind, you’re kidding me right?”

“No, Lincoln and I created it to describe the whole group of us. We realized in college that so many of our friends and family, older and our peers had names relating to the Earth, or trees or greenery of some kind. So Trikru was a combination of tree and our word for clan – kru.”

“Oh shit. Wait, so what’s the drink again?”

Lexa shook her head in disbelief, she could not believe she was telling Clarke all of this. She hadn’t talked with anyone about this since…

“It’s the Night-Bloody Heda. It’s a chocolate martini. It started out as a joke between just me and my cousin. I was Heda, the Commander of the clans and she was my lieutenant. But in college everyone always looked to me for answers, so I became Heda to Lincoln, too. It’s unfortunately something that has stuck with me, no matter how I’ve tried to shake it. Lincoln wanted to have a drink at the bar in honor of me and he knows I love chocolate. I also loved Bloody Marys back then, but who wants to drink anything that combines chocolate and tomato? So he made a chocolate martini, but called it a ‘Night-bloody Heda’ trying to combine my two favorite drinks.” Lexa put her head in her hands and shook it.

“Now see, that makes a hell of a lot more sense! Now I might actually order that!” Clarke bounced up and down, still kneeling with her feet tucked under her.

Lexa was finishing her apple when she noticed Clarke had finished the chips. She took one last bite and started to gather up her trash. “Hey, can I take your chip bag then? I’ll throw everything out quickly.”

Clarke stood up quickly, “Actually, how much longer do you have on your break? There’s a really great ice cream parlor right up the street, it’s the perfect day for some, don’t you think?”

She sounded so hopeful, and Lexa hated herself as she checked her watch. The case load hadn’t picked up yet back at the office, but Gustus was expecting her back in about 10 minutes. “Clarke, I’m…”

“No! It’s totally okay. I’m the weird one who has off in the middle of the week. I completely understand!” She moved to hug Lexa, but they were still holding the trash from lunch. They both awkwardly pointed to the trash can, laughed and walked over, tossing away the refuse. Then they embraced.

Lexa couldn’t believe it, there was that weird feeling again. It wasn’t quite butterflies, or at least how she remembered butterflies feeling. But, in her defense it had been years since she last felt them. Still this was different. _Maybe it’s just because you’re only friends. Stop trying to overthink this Lexa!_

“Well I’ll see you around, I guess. This city keeps getting smaller all the time doesn’t it?” Clarke joked.

“Yeah, it seems that way! Anyway, I’m glad I ran into you! It was nice to share lunch with someone new today.” Lexa hoped she sounded as genuine as she was intending.

“Me too, Lexa.” Clarke lingered for a second.

“Clarke? You said there were two things that you do when you lose a patient? What’s the second thing?”

Clarke smiled, “Draw, I love to sketch, use charcoals, even paint. Usually something that will make me smile, or something I think would have made the patient smile.”

Lexa was stunned, Clarke was incredible. “Wow, that’s really beautiful, Clarke. Any ideas of what you might try to create today?”

Clarke smirked, “Oh, I have a few ideas, but I’m not sure that I can do them justice.”

_Is she flirting with me? Lexa, stop imagining things. This is a friendship. That’s all you want, that’s all you can be a part of anyway._

“I’m sure you’ll find a way. Hang in there, Clarke. Text me if you need someone to talk to… work has been slow lately.” Lexa turned on her heel and walked towards Market Street, ran across it and hailed a cab heading back to work.

While she was in the office her phone buzzed across her desk. Anxious to see if Clarke was already texting her she peeked at the screen.

**Anyabug:** Hey little cuz! I miss you, work has been ‘hella crazy lately. It feels like forever since we’ve caught up! Want to meet up with me and Indra around 6 for drinks down at 7 th and Walnut?

Lexa laughed. _Well speak of the devil. Her ears must have been burning. I wonder if Lincoln will text me, too!_

**Lexa:** Sure Anya! Sounds great. I’d love to see you and Indra! 6 will work well, I’ll be coming straight from the office though. Is that okay?

**Anyabug:** Hell Lexa, we’ll be coming right from the precinct. Don’t worry we’ll all be business dress, plus that’s the best attire for our usual place.

**Lexa:** Remind me why our usual place isn’t Trikru anymore?

**Anyabug:** Because Indra still wants to punch Lincoln every time she sees him for dating Octavia. *rolls eyes

**Lexa:** Shouldn’t we be happy he’s not dating within actual Trikru? That feels like incest or something.

**Anyabug:** Don’t ask me… she’s the crazy one.

**Indrabear:** Is SHE calling me crazy again?

**Lexa:** I have no idea what you’re talking about Indra. No idea at all. So I’ll you at 6 tonight, right?

**Indrabear:** See you at 6, Heda.

**Lexa:** Will no one let that drop? Fine. Whatever. See you later.

Lexa put down her phone and checked her watch, 4:30. She ran around making some copies and sent out some emails, but really she was just killing time at this point. By 5:45 she was beyond stir crazy, packed up for the day and marched east yet again.

Indra and Anya were waiting outside the building. The bar was inside a hotel and was known for having a high end selection of whiskeys and scotches. Just the thing Lexa could use at this point. They all sat down at a table in the back that the manager opened for them, and ordered drinks and happy hour snacks.

“So little ‘cuz, what’s been going on since you wrapped up the Pike case? You seemed to fall off the face of the Earth these past two weeks.” Anya shared a look of concern with Indra before raising her eyebrows at Lexa.

“Oh, you mean the case where I metaphorically kicked that gang leader and murderer off of an enormous tower to come crashing back to reality and his real punishment? Eh, I’ve just been busy.” Lexa scoffed. _Wow, that sounded like something Clarke would have said, huh?_

“Well, look at ruthless Heda, back to bring justice to the people.” Anya cried.

Indra raised her glass, “Jus drein, jus daun, Heda!” She took a sip of her whiskey.

“No, it’s really not like that. I mean yes, our case was tough and I had no shame in going on the full attack in the courtroom, but I’m hardly ruthless.” Lexa raised her glass to her lips to avoid conversation.

Anya jumped back in, “So where have you been then? You been at Trikru then?”

“Well, yes.” Lexa looked at Indra as she turned away. It was her turn to avoid the conversation.  “If you must know Anyabug, yes I’ve been at Trikru. Sometimes it’s nice not just to play to my empty apartment, you know? Plus I figure I probably shouldn’t be drinking alone anyway and Lincoln always has my back.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you’ve barely gotten in touch with me. It’s like you’ve been hanging out with someone else. Are you cheating on me, Lexa?” Anya tried to sound offended and accusatory. It wasn’t working.

“Oh you’re such a smart ass. What would it matter if I was hanging out with someone else?” Lexa shrugged nonchalantly.

“Wait, you’re hanging out with someone new? Who’d you meet?” Indra perked back up, too.

“Oh, so it’s okay for me to see someone outside of Trikru, but not Lincoln?” Lexa shot back at her.

Indra growled, “It’s not the same. He’s dating her! She’s working at the bar all the time. They’re stuck to each other like glue, it’s unattractive, annoying and impolite.”

“No, it’s not. They’re in love and Lincoln deserves some happiness. Octavia is a good girl. You need to stop this Indra. I’m serious, as much as I love the scotch here, I miss hanging out at Trikru with everyone. You’re being childish.” Lexa’s persona had visibly changed. She was sitting just a little taller, glaring at Indra as though she were scolding a child.

Indra shirked back, “I guess you’re right. I’m sorry, Heda.”

“GOD DAMN IT! I didn’t mean it like that, but seriously! Stop being so childish, give up the grudge and forgive him. He’s hardly a Natrona. And stop calling me, Heda! I don’t want the title.” Lexa sat back and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You know, little ‘cuz, I don’t think you can just give it up. There’s a reason it’s stuck this long. It’s part of you. You’re just our Heda. No matter what.” Anya smiled comfortingly at Lexa and gave her an encouraging nudge.  “Anyway, so who’s this girl you’re seeing? What does she look like? What’s the scoop?”

“I’m not seeing her Anya, she’s just a friend. Her name is Clarke Griffin and she’s a medical resident at PA Hospital.” Lexa defended.

“Ooo the doctor and the lawyer, a match made in financial heaven!” Anya cried.

“Particularly in this city!” Indra added laughing.

“We’re not a match! I’m not seeing her. We’re. Just. Friends.” Lexa was growing angrier by the second.

Anya held up her hands, “Alright! Fine! So when was the last time you ‘hung-out’ with Clarke?”

Lexa huffed, “Today. We met unintentionally in Independence Mall.”

“Wait, today’s Thursday. Did you eat lunch with her?” Indra was annoyingly quick on the uptake today.

“Yes, friends are more than capable of eating lunch together. We do it all the time.”

“Yeah, but something tells me that you don’t spend the rest of the day glancing at your phone expecting a message from us when we do.” Anya added.

Lexa thought for a second. She had barely even noticed it, but she had at some point placed her phone on the table. Clearly both women had noticed she was checking it, but she was doing it entirely subconsciously. Was she really looking for a text from Clarke? What was happening to her?

“Lexa, you know it’s okay.”

“No, it isn’t. I’m being incredibly rude, and I didn’t even realize. I apologize.” Lexa’s reply was a little too hasty.

“Lexa you clearly want to see her again. You’re feeling something for her. I think you should go for it. Costia would want you to go for it.” Indra tried to nudge Anya, she even tried to kick her under the table. She knew where it was going before Anya did and knew what Lexa’s reaction would be. Sure enough Lexa exploded, almost flipping the table.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT HER! WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT HER.”

“Lexa, you still live in the same apartment, you clearly haven’t moved on. Maybe this girl could help you…” Indra was ready to punch Anya on behalf of Lexa. Anya was just being stupid and an instigator now. She wanted trouble.

“Lexa, please, sit down. We won’t talk about this anymore.”

“No, I’m not going to sit here and be berated by the two of you. You have no idea how I feel. Don’t you dare tell me what to do or what not to do now! You have no right! No, I’m out of here. I’m done.” Lexa grabbed her things ready to leave the bar before she caused more of a scene.

“Lexa, please don’t go!” Indra jumped up from the table now, too. Anya sank back down in her chair, waving a hand at Lexa dismissively.

Lexa wheeled around, “No, you know what Anya. You’re right. Heda will always be a part of me. And if there’s one thing I understood correctly about being Heda, it’s that to be Heda is to be alone. I should never have loved her. I’ll only get people hurt. Clarke, is my friend. She’s staying that way.”

Lexa turned and bolted out of the hotel and into the night breeze of the city. She took a deep breath before she walked down to Walnut Street and hailed a cab back to her apartment.

Inside the bar, Indra and Anya sat at the table. “I’m going to smack you later for that. That was completely unnecessary Anya. You know better than to bring her up.”

“Shof op, Indra.”

Unbeknownst to the two women Lexa had left behind, there was a brunette sitting at the bar. Her leg brace banging against her stool as she bounced her leg in time to the background music. _Clarke Griffin… still causing problems… Hmmm._

 

Lexa was crying when she threw open the door to the apartment. Titus who would have normally purred at her feet skidded his way back into the kitchen. He settled down on the cool kitchen floor and waited for his dinner. Lexa dropped her bags, kicked off her shoes and made her way into the kitchen. She fed Titus and put the tea kettle on to boil. She made herself a cup of black decaffeinated tea, added some honey to soothe her scratchy throat from her yelling. Lexa looked at the steaming cup and thought twice. She walked into the dining room and into the liquor cabinet, pulling out a bottle of whiskey. She added a shot to her tea and wandered over towards her room. She got as far as the door frame, letting her back hit the sturdy wood before she sank to the ground. She sobbed, holding the warm cup as comfort close to her heart.

_To be Heda is to be – alone-. How many seven year olds were that smart?_

She tried to drink the hot toddy, but nothing was soothing her. It was hopeless. She sat there staring at the room down the hall. The door half open, because if she closed it Titus would cry for hours, pawing at the door. It didn’t matter how many times she told him, Titus never understood, she wasn’t coming home. It had been two years. Two years of hell and it wasn’t getting easier. She pulled her phone from her pocket and stared at it haphazardly. There were no notifications. _What a surprise, Anya and Indra don’t have the balls to apologize either. Gustus didn’t apologize earlier this week. Now Anya and Indra._ She groaned. The groan grew into a roar, and roar into a scream until she was chucking the phone down the hallway. She shuddered and forced herself to sip the tea. It was finally starting to help. She was getting numb.

Except she didn’t want to be numb. She wasn’t numb when she was with Clarke. She could sit with Clarke for hours and not be bored. Clarke had made Lexa truly laugh, the kind of laugh that bubbles up from your toes and catches you off-guard. She made Lexa’s cheeks hurt from smiling again. Clarke was doing something to Lexa, and it terrified her. Absolutely terrified her down to the marrow in her bones. She gulped down the rest of her tea and got up and walked over to get her phone. Still nothing.

So she put her cup in the sink, and wandered over to her tiny upright piano she kept in the living room. Settling down on the bench, Lexa’s fingers found the keys.

“I lost the sunshine and roses, I lost the heavens of blue. I lost the beautiful rainbow, I lost the morning dew. I lost the angel who gave me summer, and the whole winter, too. I lost the gladness that turned into sadness, when I lost you.”

As Lexa played through the interlude, Costia’s face flashed before her eyes. The look frozen on Costia’s face when Lexa had to identify her to the coroner. The feeling of her lips meeting Lexa’s for the first time.

“And I lost the angel who gave me summer, and the whole winter, too. I lost the gladness that turned into sadness… When I… Lost you.” She crumpled over the piano as the memories she had been blocking rushed forward. The happiness she had felt, the butterflies.

They were back, the butterflies. But they were so different with Clarke. Lexa still had no idea why and it was wracking her brain terribly. Her phone buzzed.

**Clarke Griffin:** Hey, I know this might be a bit much, but I was wondering if you’d be up to hang out tomorrow night? I could use a girl’s night and something tells me after your comment about having fun on Tuesday that you could use one, too. What do you say?

Lexa’s heart skipped a beat. She gulped the feeling down, but the smile stayed plastered on her face as she typed her response.

**Lexa:** Yes! What do you have in mind?

She took comfort in seeing the ellipse moving across the bottom of the screen and placed her phone back on the piano bench.  She took a deep breath. It was just a girl’s night. Two friends, hanging out together. Lexa drew herself a line, she only hoped that she wouldn’t give in and cross it anyway.

Looking back at the piano, she took another deep breath. She heard the jangle of Titus’s collar and turned to see him running towards the piano. He jumped on top it. She laughed, “You’re such a silly cat, Titus. Come down from there. Sit on the bench!” He didn’t move. “Fleimkepa, move.” She patted the bench next to her softly, but her voice was firm. Titus leapt from the top of the piano down next to his owner.  “That’s better. This next one goes out to me, because we all know I need one too every once in a while.” She said to her imaginary audience.

She gave herself a starting note “All alone, I’m so all alone. There’s no one else but you.” Lexa looked at Titus.

“All alone, by the telephone. Waiting for a ring, a ting-a-ling. I’m all alone every evening, all alone feeling blue. Wondering where you are, and how you are, and if you are all alone too.”

She stood up and grabbed her phone, patting the side of her leg, “Come on Fleimkepa, and come keep Heda warm.” Lexa rolled her eyes, but wandered slowly into the bedroom. She ghosted her way through getting ready and crawled into bed after turning out the light. She rolled over to face Titus on his pillow. “I wonder if she’s all alone, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So both of these songs are sung by Frank Sinatra "When I Lost You" and "All Alone". Take a listen if you get the chance! Maybe I'll try and start a youtube playlist or something of all the songs when we're a few more chapters in!


	3. ... Instead of Sheep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa have their Girl's Night Out... not everything goes according to plan.

Clarke had spent every free moment she had working on her plan for her “Girl’s Night Extravaganza” with Lexa. She wasn’t expecting Lexa to agree to go out, mostly she thought Lexa would think she was being too pushy. She didn’t want Lexa to think she was clingy, it was just that she was still waking up shaking in full sweats from nightmares about Finn. Clarke clearly needed a distraction, she needed to be able to sleep soundly again. These next two weeks on the swing shift were not going to be easy. Today was her last normal shift, she needed to stay up all night so she could change her sleep schedule. Working 6 PM to 4 AM for the next two weeks was going to be a real blast.

By 3:30 she was antsy to hear from Lexa about when she’d be getting out of the DA’s office. They had already agreed to meet up at Trikru at some point during Happy Hour tonight, but Lexa hadn’t confirmed a time yet. She absentmindedly scrolled through her patient’s charts on one of the floor’s iPads. Clarke wished she could get away with playing with her phone, but she had a half-hour left on her shift. So she continued scrolling through, making mental notes of patients’ last recorded vitals and medication lists, nodding with each confirmation.

She felt a brush of a hand on her shoulder, “You a little distracted there, Griffin?”

Clarke twitched in the chair behind the nurse’s station, turning to find her boss’s hand on her shoulder. “Dr. Perry? Were you asking me something?”

“Well, I asked you if were up for doing a heart transplant today and you nodded in reply. Considering you’re not a surgical resident, I’d say you’re either distracted or you’ve become entirely too over-confident in your capabilities.” Dr. Nyko Perry was chuckling, he was both the head of the residency program and also the main attending of the Critical Care Unit. 

Clarke gaped, she hadn’t heard a word of that. She was instantly embarrassed. “Oh, I’m assuming you did actually need something though?” She was rushing to change the subject.

“Do you have plans for the night? You seem awfully pre-occupied. Everything here is pretty calm, why don’t you head out and get ready to start your swing shifts?” Nyko chuckled and pointed in the direction of the elevators.

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief that Nyko wasn’t upset, “Actually, my friend Lexa and I are going to go out for some fun! Thank you Dr. Perry!” She jumped up from the chair and plugged the iPad in the charging station. She headed towards the elevators to head down to the resident locker room.

“Lexa, huh? Well, have fun and be ready to get that sleep schedule entirely screwed up!” Nyko waved from down the hallway. _I didn’t think there could be two Clarke Griffin’s in this city, Indra was right… I just hope Lexa doesn’t push Clarke away before she gets close.  Lexa needs someone new in her life._

 

Clarke had rushed to get out of her scrubs and run out of the hospital. She still hadn’t heard from Lexa and she caught herself internally groaning. Tearing across Spruce Street, she rushed home in the Philadelphia heat. She waved to the security guard at the desk as she raced to the elevator and pressed the button for the 10th floor.

Clarke dropped her backpack on the floor inside the door and threw the deadbolt back. She plugged her phone in to charge again, making sure the volume was on just in case, and started stripping as she walked towards the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothing to the bathroom. She got into the shower, taking time to shave and was out before 4:15, blow-drying her hair in her fluffy blue robe.

She pulled on a pair of white jean shorts and a cute navy blue tank, finishing the look with adorable blue-striped Toms. Looking in the mirror, Clarke did some light make-up and found herself justifying it while she looked at her reflection. _I just want to make sure I look nice while we’re out. Who knows who we could run in to while we’re out!_ She shuddered thinking about running into Finn. Shaking that thought off she put on some silver chandelier earrings and found her phone.

 **Clarke:** Hey Lexa! I just wanted to check in with you, and see when you thought you’d be heading over to Trikru tonight. Also, make sure you’re wearing comfortable footwear, we’re in for a lot of walking tonight!

Clarke stared at the screen for a moment, looking to see if an ellipse would appear. After a minute she sighed heavily, dropping the phone on her bed and heading out into the living room. Sitting down in the window seat, Clarke found her sketchbook. She looked at the page it was lying open to and gently rubbed her fingers along the edge of the book.

She had been trying to draw anything, anything at all, besides the brunette she was hanging out with tonight. But it didn’t matter, somehow that cutting jawline and those high cheekbones were flowing out of her fingers. She scrunched up her face and looked out the window over the city. Across the way, someone had a beautiful bouquet of irises, sunflowers, roses and zinnias all brightly colored in the window. Clarke smiled, their colors bringing her inspiration. She lost herself in recreating their delicate petals, until she realized she had actually sketched them in a wreath wrapping around Lexa’s brow. Clarke rolled her eyes. _Why can’t I stop sketching her? And why can’t I get her mouth right? Who is only half-smiling while they’re wearing a flower crown?_

Clarke cried “Oh thank god!” to her empty apartment as she heard “Set me free, leave me be.” ring out from the bedroom. _I should probably change my general text tone… No I’m allowed to still be wallowing. LET YOURSELF WALLOW CLARKE._

 **Lexaaaaa Woods:** Hey Clarke! I know it’s already after 5! I’m just heading home now, I can be at Trikru by 6:30. Is that okay? I’m really excited, I’ll be sure to wear walkable shoes. Although, I don’t know that I’ve ever been on a girl’s night that required a lot of walking. You still haven’t told me what we’re doing!

 **Clarke:** No problem! I’ll see you there at 6:30! And of course I haven’t, silly! I want you to be surprised! I promise it’s going to be an “EXTRAVAGANZA OF FUN!”

 **Lexaaaaa Woods:** That’s an awfully high standard to be setting for yourself, Clarke! But, I’m trusting you, so I’ll see you later!

Clarke giggled. The night she had planned was going to be fun. She needed to get out and distract herself and it seemed like Lexa could use a dose of the same thing. She went into Lexa’s contact information in her phone and edited her ringtone and text tone. For a ringtone she assigned “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” and changed Lexa’s text tone to a clip of “Sing” by Ed Sheeran. Clarke chuckled, it would make her think of Lexa singing across Trikru the night they met. She smiled and went back to innocently distracting herself with some colored pencils and her flower crown sketch.

By 6:15 she could wait no longer, so Clarke grabbed her bag, slinging it across her body and headed down the block to Trikru.  When she entered the bar she grabbed two empty stools, saving the second one with her bag. “Hey O!” Clarke smiled at Octavia behind the bar.

“Hey Clarke, rum and coke then?” Octavia grabbed a cup and filled it with ice.

“As long as it’s still part of happy hour, yes please!” Clarke tapped the bar, “Just go ahead and start a tab.”

“You in for the night then? Wait, who are you saving the seat for? Did you find a rebound already? Because I won’t lie, Bellamy won’t shut up about you now that Finn’s out of the picture.” She did a slight over-pour on the rum in the cup.

“Seriously?” Clarke groaned. “Is he kidding? He should know by now we’re just friends. Why is everyone so determined that I jump on the rebound train? Can’t I have a friendly girl’s night out with my new friend?”

“I don’t think he’s actually thinking of asking you out, I think he’s thinking he can scrounge up some ‘friend of his’ that will be ‘perfect’ for you.” Octavia rolled her eyes, topping off the cup with cola and placing it in front of Clarke. She quickly added a lime and two stirring straws.

Clarke casually stirred the drink and stared towards the door.

“So Clarkey, who’s your new friend? I’m insulted you didn’t invite me out on this girl’s night out. I thought we were friends?” Octavia rested her chin on her hand, her elbow on the bar.

“Oh, crap. Octavia, don’t do that… It’s just I thought Lexa and I could both use…” Clarke would have continued, but Octavia was quick to interject.

“Lexa? She’s your new friend? Clarke, you’d better tread carefully while you’re here. Lincoln loves Lexa like a little sister.” Octavia cringed, standing back up and getting ready to take some orders from newcomers.

“We’re just friends, I promise. I’m not trying to get with her O! We just have a lot in common and talking to her is fairly easy. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to have that with someone other than Finn.” She trailed off, not just because Octavia was now fully absorbed in running the taps, but because saying his name still weighed down her tongue.  Her awkwardness was not prolonged.

“So… is this seat taken then?” Lexa apparently had arrived while Clarke wasn’t watching the door.  Her legs looked so long in her cut-off jean shorts, she had paired them with an olive green button up tank top and lace-up white vans.

Clarke beamed, and caught herself before she bit her lip. _Friend, Clarke. Friend._ “Only by you!” The words didn’t feel like something a friend would say, and Clarke went back to mentally scolding herself. Lexa seemed unaffected and sat down on the stool.

“Good! Because I’m ready to have a drink and start this ‘Extravaganza of Fun’!” She used air quotes and nudged Clarke playfully.

“Air quotes do not become you Ms. Big Time Attorney. At least not yet…”

“Not yet, Clarke?”

“Maybe when we’re more than one drink in they’ll make sense in this whole context.” She gestured widely over Lexa’s body. “Octavia!”

“What, Clarkey?”

“Lexa needs a drink!”

“Sure thing, Clarkey! Whatcha want Lexa?”

“Wait, Clarkey?” Lexa was clearly trying to hold back laughter! “Can I get a G&T please, Octavia?”

Clarke put her head in her hands. _Oh no._

“Of course, I’m not going to be able to give you Hendricks though.” Octavia eyed her, slightly concerned.  Clarke had looked up long enough from her hands to catch it.

“Oh that’s right, you’re a top shelf kinda girl, aren’t you, Lexa?” Clarke was desperately trying to change the subject.

“Got something local I could get away with for happy hour?” Lexa inquired with Octavia, watching her nod and turn back to the bar to hunt down the bottle. “Generally speaking, top shelf is ALWAYS preferred.  But I will make occasional exceptions, Clarkey!” Lexa jeered at her partner-in-crime for the night.

“Oh no, don’t you dare start with that, too!” Clarke turned her head sharply towards Lexa.

“Don’t start what, Clarkey? How did you end up with that one?” Lexa watched Octavia over-pour the gin into a cup for her, and reached over the bar to grab a lime for herself from the garnishes.

Clarke caught her eyes drifting farther south than they should have been as Lexa stood on the barstool rail to lean over the counter. She almost choked on her drink when Octavia smacked Lexa’s hand away from the limes. “If you must know, Octavia, her brother Bellamy and I grew up together out in the ‘burbs.  When Bellamy started to make fun of me by calling me Princess, Octavia started countering it that other wretched name. Unfortunately, it stuck, at least with the Blakes.”

Octavia had topped off the cup with club soda and stuck in two stirring straws and handed it to Lexa. “Well, Clarkey here only got called Princess because she loved to pull the ‘my house, my rules’ card all the time.”

“It WAS MY house O!” Clarke glared indignantly at Octavia, who promptly shrugged her shoulders and walked away to attend to other customers.

Lexa was still hiding her giggles behind her cup, “Well, I think it’s cute, but if you don’t want me to use it I won’t. I can understand not loving a nickname you’ve gotten stuck with from childhood.” Lexa’s eyes were screaming ‘I’m sorry, don’t be mad’ at Clarke. Resisting was fruitless.

“Thanks, I appreciate that. Anyway, how about a toast then? To a much needed, well-deserved girl’s night out of EXTREME fun!” Clarke hoisted her cup up to her eyes, waiting for Lexa’s to reach the same height before clashing the plastic together.

“To having fun!” Lexa lifted her left shoulder to her chin and raised her eyebrows.

 _Is she flirting with me? What was that?_ Clarke found herself puzzled. Together Clarke and Lexa took a long drink and nearly finished the contents of their cups.

“OCTAVIA, ANOTHER ROUND!” The two girls shouted in unison and received the largest eye roll they had ever seen from the female bartender.

By 7:30 they had slowed down slightly, having been through 3 rounds. Clarke glanced at her phone and reached for her bag. She flagged down O and handed over her credit card, paying both her own tab and Lexa’s.

Lexa tried to argue, but her efforts proved useless; Clarke was determined to pay. By 7:40, Clarke had hopped off her stool, collected her bag and grabbed Lexa’s hand, pulling her towards the door.

“Clarke! Where are we going?”

“To our next stop of the night of course!” Clarke stepped out of Trikru and headed north, Lexa on her heels. Pulling out her phone when they were stopped at the next intersection, Clarke opened Instagram and snapped a selfie with Lexa.

 **Clrkethegrif:** Hanging out with my new best friend. She has no idea where we’re going, maybe that’s why her face looks like that!

Clarke busted out laughing at her own caption and submitted the post. She handed her phone to Lexa to look at the post only after it had gone through.

Lexa’s jaw dropped at the caption, “Clarke that’s not fair! I only don’t know where we’re going because you refuse to tell me!”

“Oh stop, we’re going to have a blast and you’ll be happy you were surprised.” Clarke kept pulling Lexa along for a couple more blocks and suddenly turned the corner onto Chestnut Street. Clarke smiled to herself at her evil plan. She dragged Lexa along the block and purposefully walked past the building. Then doubled back and stopped dead in front of the door.

“Wait, Clarke… are we going bowling?” Lexa’s lips were curling up at the edges, Clarke found herself wishing she could get Lexa to smile for real.

“Yes, we most certainly are,” She opened the door for Lexa. “Now go on! We have a lane reserved already!” Clarke raced Lexa up the stairs to the bowling alley and checked them in at the front desk. Heading to the lane they were assigned, Clarke stopped to pick out a ball. Lexa just started to blush as they sat putting their shoes on in the seating area. “What’s up Lex? You okay?” The nickname probably would have felt weird if Clarke didn’t have 3 drinks in her already.

“Oh… nothing.” It sounded entirely too forcibly innocent. Clarke was now concerned as Lexa studied the balls carefully before choosing a purple one.

Lexa sat down to set up the game in the computer. Clarke became furious when she saw Lexa had plugged her in as ‘Clarkey’.

“Hey, don’t get too upset… I’m plugging myself in with my nickname, too.” Lexa quickly typed in ‘Heda’ for herself.

“Oh wait! Hey! At least your nickname isn’t demeaning. Yours is badass!” Clarke outright whined.

“I never said I enjoyed being called Heda, Clarke. But Clarkey is so cute, I just wanted to poke some fun at you.” Lexa hit start on the game and the pins set up at the end of the lane.

“Fine, Commander!” Clarke stuck her tongue out at Lexa.                                                                                           

“Hey, watch it! Maybe you should be a little more respectful to the Commander.” Lexa’s tone had switched so suddenly Clarke actually found herself intimidated. _Or am I turned on? NOPE that’s the rum._

“Oh, I’m so scared! The big badass Commander thinks she’s going to kick my ass at bowling?” Clarke tried to sound confident. It wasn’t even convincing her though.

“Just go bowl your first frame Clarke.” Lexa twisted impatiently in the chair in front of the computer.

Clarke stood up, picked up her ball and took a deep breath before lining herself up. She sent the ball skating down the lane and ended up with a 7/10 split. She groaned and waited for her ball to come back. Clarke took a moment to look at Lexa, she was still sitting by the computer and was staring at the end of the lane.  _I think this might be the most calm I’ve seen her. She almost looks Zen?_

Clarke’s ball had arrived though, so she made a split second decision and went for the 7 pin, knocking it down. She spun around quickly, pirouetting even, almost losing her balance in her bowling shoes and pointed to Lexa. “HAH! Beat that, Heda.”

“Oh Clarke…” Lexa simply stood and grabbed her ball. Clarke sat down and watched her new friend approach the lane, holding the ball in front her heart. From the moment Lexa took her backswing Clarke knew she was screwed. Lexa sent the ball down the lane for an easy strike. Clarke’s mouth dropped open.

“Wait! Did you just hustle me?” Clarke had jumped up from the couch.

Lexa spun around gracefully, maintaining her balance perched on her toes. “I wouldn’t say hustle, I just never said I was bad at bowling! Maybe I omitted the fact that I was in a league through college? In all fairness, you didn’t tell me where we were going!” Lexa was still trying to play innocent.

“Oh sure, Woods. That’s what you’re going with? Damn, you really ARE gonna kick my ass, aren’t you?” Clarke couldn’t believe it! Girl’s night was certainly off to an interesting start already!

Lexa nodded swiftly, “Mhmm!” Then she slowly fell apart, bursting into hysterical laughter. “Aw, come on Clarke! It’s your frame!”

Clarke stood up and shook her head as she got her ball. Then she started to laugh too.

They managed to play two full games before Clarke conceded. Lexa had won both games, at 220 and 250. Clarke was stunned to say the least.

“Eh, I’m out of practice. I should’ve had a 250 each time.” Lexa sighed as they left the building.

Clarke punched her in the arm lightly. “Hey, 220 is amazing compared to my measly 190.”

“I could help you fix your throw, you know? You’re twisting your thumb too much on your release!” Lexa tried to offer.

“No no no, don’t go getting all technical on me now! I don’t think my brain can handle it!” Clarke wagged her finger at Lexa, momentarily getting hypnotized by it. She shook her head, “Anyway! Onward to the next portion of the ‘Extravaganza of Fun’!” Clarke raised her hand high in the air and hailed a cab for the two of them.

“Are you sure you still want to hang out with me after I kicked your ass, Clarke?” It was so genuine, Clarke became worried Lexa was no longer having fun. A cab came to a stop right in front of them.

“I’m still having fun! Are you?” Clarke smiled as Lexa nodded vigorously. “Okay, don’t break your neck crazy girl! We’ve still got places to go!” She helped Lexa into the cab and gave the driver the actual address, hoping he wouldn’t ruin the surprise.

It was only 9:15 when their cab arrived down by the Delaware River bank.  Lexa had insisted she pay for the cab “It’s only fair, you took Trikru and bowling! Plus, I owe you after creaming you back there…” Lexa joked and handed a $20 to the driver.

Clarke couldn’t understand why her mind went to a completely inappropriate place after that comment.

Lexa stared wide-eyed as she got out the cab. “Clarke! Dave and Busters? Really?”

“Yup! Oh no, please don’t tell me you joined an arcade league in high school or something? Do you secretly play Halo 3 online at 2 AM and yell at 14 year olds over the live chat?”

Lexa shrugged sheepishly, “Actually, I’m pretty terrible at arcade games, but they’re fun!”

“Are you trying to hustle me again?” Clarke moved in close, staring Lexa right in the eyes.  She thought she heard Lexa’s breath catch in her throat, but she dismissed it as the breeze off the river. _That and the rum._

“Nope! I swear!” Lexa held her hands up. “Now, come on… Let’s see you win back your dignity!”

“Oh you are so on!” Clarke ran after Lexa sprinting into the arcade. Lexa filled a card for both of them to swipe into games and Clarke bolted around the arcade with Lexa in tow. True to her word, Lexa was almost mediocre at nearly every game.

Although, they did have a blast playing fruit ninja together, they tried to play ‘In the Groove’ (which did not end well for either of the girls) and found they were pretty evenly matched in skeeball. By 10:30 they had too many tickets to hold and were still laughing and making fun of each other after each game.

They finally managed to snag an air hockey table. While Clarke nearly took off Lexa’s fingers with her sharp shots across the table, they commiserated about old Super Nintendo games and the torture that was Super Mario Bros. 3. They even started to sing the old Mario music as Clarke scored her final winning point.

Clarke collected their tickets and dragged Lexa to the reward center. “Who seriously has time to collect that many tickets? Wouldn’t it be cheaper just to buy the blender?” Clarke blurted out, probably too loudly as she stared at a Ninja Blender behind the counter.

“Honestly, anyone that thinks it’s worth it to collect the tickets instead of buying the blender is terrible at math.” Lexa said plainly.

“Whoomp there it is!” Clarke swung her arms around and pointed to Lexa playfully. She handed the pile of tickets to the kid behind the counter. He looked like he should have been working in Hot Topic, not an adult arcade, counting tickets.

“Don’t bother counting… I’ll take the super balls.” Clarke chuckled, accepting a prize worth only 15 tickets.

Lexa leaned over the counter, staring down at the prizes. “I’ll take the Lisa Frank pencil kit.” It was only worth about 30 tickets. The two girls walked out of the arcade clutching their prizes and headed into the only now comfortable city air.

That was when Clarke finally noticed, the corners of Lexa’s mouth were spread wide, only the tiniest bit of teeth showing through the separation of her lips. Clarke was marveling on its beauty. She immediately tried to blame the alcohol internally, but realized her buzz was long gone. She was running on pure happiness at this point. Clarke swallowed and took a deep breath. _It doesn’t mean anything. You’ve said it before. She’s a beautiful girl. Doesn’t mean you’ve got a crush, Clarke._

Trying to break the silence that had settled between them as Clarke had argued with herself, she turned and looked up the street. A bright neon sign caught her eye. “Hey, Lexa! You want to go dancing? We could go to Azgeda up the street! I bet there’s a great DJ playing on a Friday night. Or you know, a terrible one that doesn’t know how to mix and we could make fun of him!”

The smile seemed to melt off Lexa’s face as she turned to look up the block. Clarke was sure she saw Lexa turning white as a ghost. “Um… sorry, Clarke. I don’t mean to ruin all the fun.” Lexa looked down at the sidewalk, suddenly far more interested in her pencils than anything else.

“Lexa, it’s totally okay. It wasn’t even part of my plan!” Clarke leaned down trying to catch her eye, still trying to smile.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to upset you.” Lexa was still almost whimpering.

Clarke worked to bring her back around, “Lexa, I’m hardly upset about not going to a club that’s probably overcrowded and smells of sweat, body odor and old vomit. Let’s go do something else!”

Lexa sniffed, but lifted her head to find Clarke’s eyes, “You mentioned ice cream the other day? You think that place is still open?”

“Actually, I happen to know it is!” Clarke laughed and scrunched her face up, sticking her tongue out at Lexa. She watched Lexa’s face begin to perk back up. “Come on. Let’s cross the street and grab a cab over there.”

At 11:30 their feet hit the pavement again as the girls stood outside the only traditional ice cream parlor in Philadelphia. Even after 11 there was still a line halfway down the block from the store, so Clarke and Lexa ran to grab a spot.

Thankfully the line was moving pretty quickly, and they were in the store before midnight. Clarke reached to pick up one of the menus and handed it to Lexa, but Lexa laughed and pushed it away. “I know exactly what I’m getting already! The question is, do you?”

Clarke stared back at her and shrugged, “Mhmm, same thing as always!”

Two people behind the counter approached the girls at the same time, “Separate or together?” asked the first.

“Separate” They both said and laughed. No need to argue about who would pay this time! Clarke turned to give her order in to the gentlemen behind the counter and completely missed what Lexa had ordered. As they moved to the end of the line to pay at the antique cash register Clarke badgered Lexa, “So what did you get? Are you not going to tell me? Is this payback for the bowling thing? Because I’m pretty certain you already paid me back for that by kicking my ass!”

“I kicked your ass fair and square, Clarke! You’re just going to have to wait for my order to be up!” Lexa paid for her treat and moved over so Clarke could pay as well.

At the same time two cups arrived at the end of the counter. “Clarke!” “Lexa!” The two girls exchanged looks and quickly swapped cups, peaking over the edge.

“Oh my god, you ice cream snob! You got a Ladie’s Choice Float! I should have known with the way you drink scotch, of course you order your ice cream with class.”

“Excuse me, ice cream snob? Hardly, it is a delicately balanced fruity concoction, easily appreciated by the most simple of people. But a Cherry Bomb Float, Clarke? Really?”

“Chocolate and cherry is the only way to go, Lexa. I can’t believe you can drink that! It’s so sweet!”

“Mmmm, raspberry and peach. Actually, it matches you really well Clarke. I’m pretty sure your face matched this soda when I rolled that first strike!”

“Aw, come on! Lay off the bowling jokes!” Clarke thrust Lexa’s cup back into her hands and snagged her float. She quickly grabbed them each a float spoon and a straw, Lexa picked up a bunch of napkins and they headed out into the depths of Old City.

The girls slowly began wandering down 2nd Street, spooning soda and ice cream into their mouths, and their conversation continued to flow with ease.  As if on cue to ruin the moment, Clarke’s phone started to play the beginning of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, screaming “Mamma” into the night.

Clarke rolled her eyes and looked apologetically at Lexa.

“Is it the hospital?” Lexa stopped on the sidewalk as Clarke continued to hold her phone, still letting it ring.

“No, it’s worse.”

“I’m sorry?”

“It’s my mother.” The ringtone stopped playing, but Clarke’s expression didn’t change. She held the phone up, “Just wait… I don’t want to answer, but if I don’t she’ll keep calling.”

“Clarke, it’s fine! Just talk to her, I don’t mind.” Lexa brought her free hand to her heart.

“But see I do! This is so NOT part of the ‘Extravaganza of Fun’” Clarke was whining, with that the phone started to ring again.

“Clarke, we can either stand here listening to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ all night or you can just answer the phone and get it over with!” Lexa quickly spooned some of her float into her mouth.

“Fine,” Clarke slid the lock on her phone to answer. “Hi Mom.”

“Clarke! Thank god, I know you have your swing shifts starting this week. Were you sleeping? You need to stay awake and get your sleep schedule modified now.” Abby sounded out of breath. _Worried for no reason as usual._

Rolling her eyes at Lexa, “No Mom, I wasn’t sleeping. I’m actually out.”

“Oh! Okay, with who? Octavia? Please tell me you’re not just sitting at Trikru wallowing over that stupid boy. He was a fool Clarke. You hardly need the distraction, you’re better off without him.” Abby’s scoff was audible through the phone.

Clarke turned away from Lexa briefly and stepped away, “Actually, if you must know, I’m out with a new friend. A friend of Lincoln’s, her name is Lexa and we were enjoying our evening. If you don’t mind I’d like to get back to it.”

“Huh, okay then. I guess I’ll let you go then, just don’t go home too early and wallow. I hate to think of you crying yourself to sleep again tonight.”

Clarke took a deep breath and tried not to lose it on Abby over the phone. She was also trying not to embarrass herself completely in front of Lexa. “Mom, please. Just don’t talk about him okay? I’m fine, I’m planning to stay up. I’m an adult, I can handle this. I’ll talk to you later? Love you, gotta go. Bye.” Clarke pulled the phone away and practically slammed the end call icon.

She shoved her phone in her back pocket again and tried get herself together. She couldn’t tell if the tears were angry or simply sad; either way they needed to stop. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder and a soft, “Hey, are you okay, Clarke?” Lexa’s voice was soothing.

Clarke wiped her face with her free hand. “Yeah, I will be. Sorry, I just completely killed the mood.”

“No! No you didn’t. Don’t worry about it. Want to go sit in Washington Square and finish these?” Lexa shook her cup slightly and nodded south.

Clarke sniffed, “I don’t know about you, but mine will probably be gone by the time we get there.” She tried to bring her own spirits around.

“Hmm, I’d ask you if you want to race, but somehow the two of us ending up with stomach aches doesn’t seem like a good way to end this girl’s night.” Lexa trolled.

“Definitely not a good idea. I can say that from a medical perspective, because as we both know, I could save your life!” Clarke started to smile remembering her line from almost a week ago. _Has it only been 5 days?_

Lexa laughed and they continued walking, turning across Walnut Street eventually.

“So yeah, that was my mom. She’s crazy! I mean yes, she’s a doctor so she understands how hectic a residency can be, but she’s not so great in the heartbreak department.” Clarke tried to make light of the situation.

“Ah, heartbreak. We’ve all had it, but does anyone really handle it well?” Lexa stared into her cup, switching over to her straw finding her ice cream had disappeared. Clarke caught the tiniest little pout across Lexa’s lips before she brought the straw to her lips.

“I guess, I don’t know. It’s just the wound is still so fresh. I know she’s just trying to be nice, but it’s like pouring lemon juice on a papercut sometimes with her.” Clarke winced at the thought.

Lexa started, “I don’t mean to imply, but was that why you were drowning yourself in…”

“$300 of tequila last week? Yeah, killing my liver over a stupid boy. How mature right?” Clarke finished Lexa’s sentence and nodded.

Lexa just shrugged and nodded, choosing to go back to occupying her mouth with her straw.

“She was right, I don’t need the distraction. But, that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.” Clarke rolled her eyes and sighed, “Finn was stupid to think I wouldn’t figure out I was his other woman.”

Lexa nearly choked on the last of her raspberry soda. “What? Clarke, that’s terrible. You deserve so much better than that. You’re too sweet to be treated that way.” She stared at Clarke dumbfounded, but quickly looked into her now empty cup.

Clarke blushed, she hoped it wasn’t obvious in the street lights. “Thanks Lex. I appreciate that.” There it was again, the nickname. She’s known this girl all of 5 days and she’s giving her nicknames. _What are you doing, Clarke?_

Clarke gulped down the rest of her float and tossed her cup into a garbage can as they were walking, Lexa did the same. “So I haven’t been sleeping well because I keep dreaming about him and I hate it. I keep waking up in cold sweats. I’m actually looking forward to having to change my sleep schedule for my swing shifts. Wallowing tends to lend itself to sleeping through the day, with any luck I’ll finally get some decent rest.” Clarke looked up at Lexa, “Oh crap, I shouldn’t be boring you with this. I’m sorry, let’s change the subject. What do you want to do?”

Clarke watched as Lexa struggled to suppress a yawn. “Don’t be sorry, Clarke. It really is okay. Let’s keep walking.” She gestured farther up the street. Lexa chuckled softly, “It may sound silly, but I actually still love listening to music to help me fall asleep. There’s this old song my mom used to sing to me at night, it still gets me.” She smiled softly at Clarke.

“Hmmm, I might need to try coming up with a playlist or something.” Clarke thought out loud.

“Let me know if you want any suggestions! I’d be happy to help.” Lexa added. Clarke could feel her eyes watching her intently, even as they continued down the street.

They crossed Broad Street and kept heading towards Rittenhouse Square. Clarke could see the soft glow of the lights in the trees as they approached the park. The bars around the square were still filled with customers, and a few straggling couples wandered their way through the park. Lexa and Clarke joined them, walking side-by-side. They stayed relatively close to the edge of the park and ended up looping back to head east, in the direction of Lexa’s apartment. 

They wound their way through the streets, finally ending up back on Spruce Street and stood in front of the Drake. Lexa smiled at Clarke as she opened her bag to get out her keys. “Thank you, Clarke. Really tonight was really fun. I don’t think I can remember the last time I’ve been up this late on a Friday not doing work!”

“Okay, that’s just depressing Lexa. Don’t tell me that! We’ll have to do this again, I guess!” Clarke laughed, shaking her head. She couldn’t take her eyes off the girl’s smile though. Lexa wasn’t showing any teeth, but Clarke could see how the emotion spread up to her eyes. The light from under the overhang was causing them to almost glitter, highlighting their bright green rings. Clarke had been staring so long, she noticed when Lexa’s pupils started to dilate while staring right back.

“I’d really like that, Clarke.” Lexa inhaled deeply. Silence settled between them, but it didn’t feel awkward.

Clarke took a deep breath, “Come here!” She stepped forward and pulled her new friend into a tight hug. “Thank you for hanging out with me tonight! I’ll let you know if I need any help with that playlist, okay?”

Over Clarke’s shoulder Lexa almost whispered, “Of course! Please do, Clarke.”

Clarke ended the hug, reluctantly letting her arms drop and stepped back. “Have a good night, Lexa.”

Lexa turned towards the door, grasping the handle tightly, “You too, Clarke.” She turned to walk into the atrium.

Clarke turned her back to the building and headed towards her apartment. “Oh, Clarke!” Lexa’s voice filled her ears yet again. Clarke spun around to face the door. Lexa was leaning out the door, “Text me when you get home! There’s too many crazy people in this city!”

“Will do!” She waved to Lexa and headed home. The sound of Lexa saying her name flooding her brain the entire walk to her apartment. She stepped out of the elevator and pulled out her keys, unlocking the door and stepping into her empty apartment.  It suddenly felt bigger than before, the negative space, the absence of human connection within its walls feeling more crushing in an instant. She texted Lexa that she was home and left her phone on her couch.

As Clarke slipped into her pajama shorts and a tank, she wandered past her sketchbook. The brightly shaded flowers wrapping around Lexa’s brow caught her eye. She grabbed the book and her pencils and headed over to the window seat again.  All at once Clarke was able to retrace the smooth curve of Lexa’s smile in her mind’s eye, her hand reproducing it in the sketch.  The tiny creases at her eyes came alive on the paper, spreading happiness across Lexa’s face. It scared Clarke, how Lexa’s smile had become so imprinted in her mind already. How her hand only wanted to sketch that cutting jawline and the high cheekbones that Clarke had caught herself staring at far too often tonight. She shook it off and glanced at the wall clock. 1:18 AM. Not nearly time for her to go to bed.

She settled down on the couch and turned on her TV. She hit Netflix and put on some old episode of Scandal where Olivia was sure to have a quickie with Fitz somewhere inappropriate. Clarke made herself some tea and cuddled up under her favorite quilt. Still the apartment felt so empty.

At some point in a desperate attempt to stay awake, she switched from Scandal to Xena: Warrior Princess and made herself some popcorn. By 6 AM she was wide awake again. Clarke knew it was time for her to crash, but even as she took herself into her bedroom she knew her body wasn’t going to let her. She laid down in her bed and tossed and turned until 6:30. At which point she remembered about Lexa’s playlist suggestion and reached for her phone on her nightstand.

She opened the music app and stared at the screen, now at a complete loss for any ideas. So Clarke closed the music app, opened messages instead and started typing to Lexa.

 **Clarke:** Hey… so it’s already 6:30 and I can’t fall asleep, but I’m so braindead I’m at a complete loss for playlist ideas. Got any cute lullabies you can sing for me?

Clarke stared at the screen waiting for those three beautiful dots to appear. After 10 minutes she gave up. It was Saturday morning. There was no way any sane person is awake now. She rolled over and slammed her face into the pillow, but not before she made sure the volume was turned all the way up on her phone.

When the phone vibrated and rang out “Sing! Oh ohohoh Ohohoh!” Clarke had her face so buried into her pillow and was groaning so loud she missed it. When it rang for the second time about 2 minutes later, she rolled over and sat bolt upright in bed.

 **Lexaaaaa Woods:** You’re lucky I wake up early on Saturdays to go to the gym, Clarke. No one else is crazy enough to be awake right now! But hmm, let me see what I can come up with…

The ellipse was going crazy at the bottom of Clarke’s screen.  But her tired mind and her impatience got the best of her.

 **Clarke:** Actually, I kind of wish I could just hear your voice, can I call you and fall asleep to your voice on the phone?

She knew she’d regret asking it later, but she was so desperate for sleep she couldn’t care at this point.

 **Lexaaaaa Woods:** Are you saying my voice is boring, Clarke? Do I drone on too much for you that you want to fall asleep to me talking? Have you tried counting sheep?

 **Clarke:** No, your voice is just really soothing. Especially when you sing. Please. Lexa, I didn’t mean anything offensive by it… O:-)

_An angel smile makes anything forgivable right?_

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Alright Clarke, you win. Give me a minute or two.

About 5 minutes later a new message chimed in as Clarke was playing Candy Crush. She swiped back over and found a voice memo at the bottom of her text thread.

 **Lexaaaaa Woods:** Lullaby for Clarke… An alternative to sheep.

Clarke opened the memo and let it play. Soft piano chords rang out through her speaker.

“When I’m worried and I can’t sleep. I count my blessings instead of sheep, and I fall asleep, counting my blessings.”

Clarke remembered the tune from old Christmas movie marathons with her mom and dad. Her heart warmed as Lexa’s voice filled her ears. She only had to press play one more time before her eyelids started to feel heavy.

“And you’ll fall asleep, counting your blessings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one took a little longer... Work is kind of crazy for these two weeks. That and for some reason Clarke's dialogue kept bugging me. Plus I was doing a lot of mapping and story arcing as well. Anyway! The song is "Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep" as sung by Bing Crosby in White Christmas :D


	4. The Perfect Blendship

Lexa’s phone buzzed next to her for what seemed like the 1000th time that night. She looked down and smiled.

**Clarkey:** So are you telling me you’re spending yet another night in, cuddled up with your cat, watching old Scandal episodes, when you could be over at Trikru having a semi-decent time with your whole Kru?

**Lexa:** No, I’m saying that I’m spending quality alone time, sipping tea and watching Olivia and Jake argue, INSTEAD of hearing my whole Kru try and settle an argument about who Lincoln can or cannot date.

In truth, Lexa was very comfortably wrapped up in a blanket on her couch. Titus came into the room and jumped up on the couch, his collar jingling. “Hi, Fleimkepa.” She kissed his head as he rubbed up against her, purring. “Mind the candles now.” She picked her phone up and swiped between message threads, trying to keep on top of everything going on.

**Anyabug:** I can’t believe you’re missing this for old Scandal episodes. What is wrong with you? This is quality entertainment!

**Lexa:** Shhh leave me alone. I’m exhausted.

_Swipe_

**Clarkey:** This whole thing is about Octavia? Are you serious? What do they have against my best friend? Do they know she can kick their asses?

**Lexa:** With her luck Indra would probably try to her arrest her if she tried.

**Clarkey:** What the HELL Lexa? You should be there defending her! I thought you approved of her and Lincoln being together!

**Lexa:** I do approve of them, but the point is I shouldn’t have to…

_Swipe_

**Anyabug:** Oh my god, Lexa. Indra has Lincoln by the collar of his shirt. Octavia looks like she’s going to rip out Indra’s throat. This IS AMAZING!

**Lexa:** Then stop “live-texting” it to me and record it! Save it for blackmail later! Post it on YouTube and let it go viral! I don’t care. My tea is getting cold.

_Swipe_

**Clarkey:** I think Heda should be there to keep her Kru in line…

**Lexa:** Don’t start something Clarke… Don’t make me come over to that hospital to kick your ass.

**Clarkey:** Hey, at least that would mean you were out on a Friday night!

Lexa put the phone down. Was it really so terrible to spend another night in? Sure, what was going down at Trikru tonight had to be entertaining to everyone else, but if she was there she’d be doing exactly what Clarke had suggested. She’d be keeping everyone in line, trying to get Indra to calm down, and hold Octavia back and making sure Lincoln didn’t end up bloody in between them. It would be a lot of stress, and Lexa was exhausted. What was wrong with watching TV and cuddling with Titus?

**Lexa:** ROAR, don’t you have patients to attend to?

**Clarkey:** Most of them are sleeping, I’m sitting at the nurse’s station with my feet up. If you showed up to kick my ass you’d be disturbing an entire floor of relaxing, recuperating patients sleeping in their uncomfortable hospital beds with their blood clot preventative sleeves squeezing their calves at perfectly timed intervals.

**Lexa:** Okay, too much…

**Clarkey:** Too much information? Or too much of a guilt trip?

**Lexa:** Too much effort… sleeeeeeepy

Lexa fell over, resting her head on the arm of her couch as she yawned.

**Clarkey:** Fine, stop watching Scandal and go to bed then if you’re not going to go defend my friend to yours. Hrrrrrumpffff  >:-I

**Lexa:** Octavia is there, I have every confidence that she can defend herself. Not to mention Lincoln… Let me have a quiet night in…

_Swipe_

**Anyabug:** Wow…

**Lexa:** Wow what?

**Anyabug:** I thought you didn’t want to know? Aren’t you too busy sipping tea to hear about your friends shenanigans? :P

**Lexa:** Shut up and tell me Anya.

**Anyabug:** Octavia just finished a huge speech in front of the whole bar about how much she loves Lincoln. Even Lincoln is crying.

**Lexa:** Wow, was that so hard to type? Why’d you have to be a brat about it?

**Anyabug:** ‘Cuz, you were a brat first!

**Lexa:** Cute. You were born first, therefore a brat first. Go buy everyone a round of drinks and tell Lincoln to put it on my tab.

She hadn’t heard back from Clarke yet. She remembered the angry emoji. _Is she actually mad?_

_Swipe_

**Lexa:** Are you at least happy the first week of your swing shifts is over?

**Clarkey:** You have no idea… I would kill to see more than 2 hours of daylight before sunset. Dr. Perry handed me the list of elective options today… He wants my decision by Monday. I told him “Pshh, sure! No pressure there, huh?”

Lexa breathed a sigh of relief when Clarke’s message came through. She re-read the message and laughed.

**Lexa:** Dr. Perry? Nyko? Wait, your boss is Nyko? Is he working tonight? Tell him I said hi and that he should text Indra and tell her to give up her fight against Octavia.

**Clarkey:** You’re kidding me… Nyko is Trikru?

**Lexa:** He most certainly is! Perry- of the Pear Tree :-)

**Clarkey:** This city is officially TINY!

_So it is._ Lexa laughed to herself. She only watched one more episode before she got up and went to bed, Titus at her heels.

The next week passed much the same as the last. Lexa only had a few small cases to work on and she was getting bored. She felt as though she was ghosting through everything, her only highlights being when Clarke was texting her. Lexa kept thinking about their girl’s night and how she wanted to hang out with Clarke, but Clarke’s schedule and hers wouldn’t match up again until after Clarke’s night shifts were over. Lexa looked forward to 4 PM each day when she knew Clarke would be waking up, and usually like clockwork by 4:10 there was a new text from Clarke asking about her day.

She was sitting in her office clearing out her email inbox on Wednesday when her phone buzzed. Lexa looked at the clock; 2:30 PM. There was no way it was Clarke. She sighed and picked up the phone.

**Anyabug:** I’m sending you this message because I think it’s going to make you think you’re hearing from that girl earlier than usual and I wanted you to sigh heavily when you realize it’s not her. Did you sigh?

**Lexa:** Screw you, Anya.

**Anyabug:** You totally sighed.

**Lexa:** Don’t make me leave work earlier and come to the precinct to kick your ass. I will.

**Anyabug:** Fine, but maybe you should come to Trikru after work and hang out.

**Lexa:** Fine. I’ll see you at 5:30. Stop texting me, I’m working.

**Anyabug:** Alright, see you there.

Lexa went back to clicking the delete button, then organized paperwork and cleaned up her office.  Her phone started to blow up with an hour left in her day and she smiled as Clarke brought up the silliest things.

**Clarkey:** So has a pigeon ever stared at you when you got out of the shower?

**Lexa:** Um, no? Why would you ask that?

**Clarkey:** Because I walked out of my bathroom and there was a pigeon sitting on the ledge outside my living room window. He turned around and I froze and we stayed like that for a couple of seconds. Then I moved to walk into my bedroom and his head turned to follow me. Why are Philadelphia pigeons so weird?!?

**Lexa:** Only you, Clarke. Only you could find the one potentially voyeuristic pigeon in all of Philadelphia.

**Clarkey:** OMG, do you think that’s what he was doing? Thank god I still had my towel on.

For the last hour, Clarke kept Lexa entertained with her rantings about the dirtiest birds in existence. She was still laughing as she left the DA’s office and walked into Trikru. When she got there Anya and Indra were already sitting at the bar chatting away with Lincoln.

“Well look what the cat dragged in!” Lincoln had looked up as the door opened.

Lexa half-smiled, “Hey guys. Glad we’re back to our usual spot again.” She walked over and grabbed the stool next to Anya. She punched her in the arm.

“Hey, what did I do?” Anya looked at her incredulously.

“That’s for being a brat. Now stop complaining, it wasn’t that hard.” She turned away and back to Lincoln behind the bar. “Can I get a G&T?”

“Sure thing, Heda.” He turned around and grabbed the bottle of Hendricks from the bar. He quickly threw together the drink, garnishing with a lime and handed it to Lexa. “On the house. For finally pushing the brat at the other end to talk to me.” Lincoln nodded at Indra.

“Watch it! I can and still will kick your ass, Lincoln.” Indra hissed back.

Lexa laughed. Anya turned to look at her, “Wow, that’s something I haven’t heard in a long time.”

“Sorry, what Anya?”

“Your real laugh. It’s just,” she hesitated, trying to find the right words. “You haven’t really laughed with us in a long time Lil ‘Cuz. It’s really nice to hear.” She put her arm around Lexa and squeezed.

Lexa thought for a minute, she’s been laughing more and more since she met Clarke. It felt good to be able to find humor in things again. “Thanks, An.”

They retreated into normal conversation, sharing stories. They were a few drinks in when Anya finally asked her about Clarke.

“So when do we get to meet her?”

Lexa froze, “Wait, what?” She choked out.

“When do we get to meet this Clarke Griffin, resident extraordinaire and the person who has somehow managed to get my only little cousin to laugh and smile again?” Anya was imploring.

“Uh, I don’t know. She’s got a really busy schedule. I haven’t even seen her since we went out two Friday’s ago.”

“She hasn’t been in the bar either, Lexa. Don’t sulk. Octavia is getting frustrated that she’s not responding to texts because of her schedule.” Lincoln added.

_That’s weird. She’s not texting Octavia, but Clarke is constantly texting me. All the time._

“See! She’s really busy, she’s not even responding to O. They’ve been friends since they were babies.”

“Actually Lexa, the last thing Octavia said they talked about was you.”

Lexa shook her head. “Noooo, what would Clarke possibly have to say about me. We’re just friends.”

“Lexa, what color are her eyes?” Anya questioned.

“Huh?”

“Just answer the question.” Lincoln was next, they were ganging up on her.

“What, no. That’s silly, what does that have to do with us being friends.”

“Don’t get defensive, just answer the question. What color are Clarke’s eyes.” Anya shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal.

“They’re blue. Blue like the sky on a cloudless day.” Lexa turned away from her friends, getting lost in her thoughts.

_Her eyes are the most incredible blue. If I could, I’d find a plane small enough and fly around their sky for hours, getting lost without a care._

Lexa could vaguely hear them laughing at her. She didn’t care about that though, too caught up in the idea of Clarke meeting her friends. If Clarke really is her friend there shouldn’t be any reason to say no. So why did she have such a strong reaction internally to Anya asking about meeting Clarke. It didn’t make sense. Nothing seemed to make sense when it came to Clarke. Her world seemed to be slowly inverting itself.

Less than an hour later Lexa excused herself to head home. Lincoln tried to insist on putting Lexa in a cab, but she refused, pushing him away and heading out into the thick city air.  Except instead of heading directly home to take care of Titus like she should have, she found herself walking up 13th street again. _Clarke had said she lives in the Chancellor…_

Lexa walked past the building and debated going in and asking the security guard what floor Clarke lived on, and then she remembered; Clarke was still at the hospital. She only had one more full-night shift.  Lexa sighed, walked away from the building and instead made her way home slowly, passing college kids happily walking arm-in-arm, hand-in-hand. It only urged a pair of blue eyes to the forefront of Lexa’s brain. She moved a little quicker through the streets, clutching the strap of her laptop bag a little tighter.

When Lexa reached her apartment, Titus was at the door crying for his food, now hours late.

“Sorry little guy,” She slurred, the gin had really gone to her head tonight. Lexa did a quick walkthrough of the apartment to make sure Titus hadn’t gone on a revenge tirade anywhere. Satisfied, she closed doors and beckoned the cat into her room where she promptly fell face first down onto the bed and passed out.  When she woke up the next morning with a start it wasn’t just because she realized she closed the door at the other side of the apartment. It was because Lexa had been dreaming a pair of eyes as blue as the sky had been watching her sleep.

\--

Clarke woke up on Saturday at 6 AM. She had never been so happy to see a sunrise when she woke up. The night shift had wreaked havoc on her mind for two weeks. She still couldn’t believe she had texted Lexa about a potentially voyeuristic pigeon. If that wasn’t a sign of early onset insanity she didn’t know what would be.

Actually, she was really surprised how often she and Lexa were texting. They hadn’t gone a single day in two weeks without exchanging at minimum a “good morning”, a “good night” and shared stories about their days. It felt nice to have someone new to talk to, someone who wasn’t asking every day if she had thought about Finn, or if she had cried again that day.

It wasn’t easy, most of the nightmares had stopped and Clarke was thankful for that. The nightshift had usually been pretty quiet though, with most of the patients usually doing what she wished to be doing- sleeping. At least she wasn’t waking up in cold sweats anymore.

She moved slowly around the apartment in her sleep shorts and a t-shirt, grabbing a bowl of cereal and settled into the window seat to watch the sky become painted. Even as she watched colors blend together over the horizon, her mind was otherwise occupied with the idea of how the sunlight would brighten the green of Lexa’s eyes. Clarke sighed and gulped down the last of the milk in her bowl before moving to grab her laptop and catch up on the news of the past week. She scrolled past the few in city events that had brought emergencies into the hospital and sighed heavily browsing over world events when a headline about a drug lord caught her eye. She swiped over to messages.

**Clarke:** Holy shit Lexa! Have you heard about this drug lord that got caught last night?

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Well, yes… And it’s not just him, there’s a middle-man so to speak that was arrested too.

**Clarke:** Wait… Are you telling me the D.A. already has stuff for this?

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Nothing official, just the reports from the arresting officers and Chief Inspector Kane.

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Did you assume I was already awake this early on a Saturday?

**Clarke** : Lexa, I know you work out on Saturday mornings. Of course I assumed you were awake. Now where are my details!

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** No details, but I’m expecting a call from Gustus in the next few hours.

**Clarke:** Well I’ll be starting my peds rotation tomorrow across town.

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Peds?

**Clarke:** Peds? Pediatrics.

**Lexaaaaa Woods:**  Ah, little children. Right! I should have remembered. Forgive me Clarke.

**Clarke:**  No biggie, Lexa. It’s all good.

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** And… I’m being called into the office. Talk to you later, Clarke!

The week flew past, and Lexa’s responses were becoming few and far between. Although Clarke could be called in to the Peds ward across town at any time, her schedule had lightened a bit. She found herself suddenly less occupied and wanted to use her free time wisely. By Saturday afternoon, she knew Lexa was busy, but decided to try and text her anyway.

**Clarke:** So are you busy today? It’s been so long since we’ve hung out!

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** I know it has Clarke.

**Clarke:** So, hang out with me! We could grab lunch? Or head to the park?

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Clarke…

**Clarke:** Oh I heard there’s a new exhibit up at the art museum! We could walk up the parkway!

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Clarke I can’t today.

**Clarke:** Lexa, this is like the most I’ve heard from you all week…

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Because I’ve been busy working on this case.

**Clarke:** I know! And it’s not any fun! Come on, come make fun of modern art with me.

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Clarke, this is my job.

**Clarke:** It’s also the weekend!

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Right, I understand that.

**Clarke:** So come on! Come hang out with me. Only for an hour or two…

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Clarke I can’t. I HAVE to work on this case. It’s huge.

**Clarke:** But Lexaaaaaa! It’s me!

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Yes, Clarke it is you. But I can’t lose this case.

**Clarke:** You never lose… Okay you RARELY lose. Why worry now?

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** I can’t take that chance Clarke. I’m sorry I know we haven’t hung out, but it looks like it’s going to be a little longer now.

**Clarke:** Maybe we can just head to a coffee shop? At least we’d be hanging out and you could still work.

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** No, Clarke. You know I can’t discuss the case with you or anyone. I can’t work in public.

**Clarke:** Okay so come grab a cup of coffee with me for five minutes! Come on Lexa!!!

-

**Clarke:** Leeeexaaaaaaaa!

-

**Clarke:** Leeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxaaaaaaaaaaa!

-

**Clarke:** LEEEEEEXAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

-

**Clarke:** Lexa Woods! Come hang out with your new best friend damn it! Leave the paperwork, stop being a workhorse and let yourself have some fun! Let’s go get a drink and party for a bit! COME ON!!!!

-

**Clarke:** Lexa? Come on… take a break, grab a coffee or hell meet me at Wawa and grab a soda! Come on. This is ridiculous.

-

**Clarke:** So now you’re just ignoring me?

**Lexaaaaa Woods:** Clarke! For fucks sake, I can’t today! I’m sorry. I don’t have time for this. I need to concentrate, not distractions. Stop texting me.

Clarke stared at the phone. Her messages had gone unanswered for hours and now Lexa was blowing up at her about being a distraction. On impulse she pressed the call button and heard the line go directly to voicemail. “Lexa? Just… just call me back okay? Please? I’m… I’m sorry.” Clarke chewed on her bottom lip. _What the fuck? What the actual fuck?_

\--

Lexa let her head fall into her hands after she put her phone down, having turned it off. She sighed staring at the spread of paperwork, evidence reports and highlighted notes all over her coffee table. This case had her on edge. Echo was a middleman between the Mountain Men drug ring and Azgeda. Her mind was swimming. Lexa had told Gustus she couldn’t turn down the opportunity with the case even though it made her heart ache and tears pool in her eyes. If Lexa could just have explained it all to Clarke she would have, but they had only just started getting close. She gulped audibly as she stared at the now closed door at the end of the hallway and fought with herself not to get up and open it again. Instead, Lexa groaned and tried to walk herself through a very slowly developing line of prosecution. _No holes, no holes this time. They’re not getting away from me. I need to do this. I need to do this for her._ Titus meowed, walking over in between the coffee table and Lexa’s feet. He stared up at her with wide eyes and looked towards the table. “Don’t you dare, Fleimkepa. I’ll take your catnip away.” His head turned sharply at that and Titus wisely opted for a spot on the couch instead. Lexa turned on her phone a few hours later before she headed to bed. Her phone automatically dictated Clarke's voicemail for her. As she finished brushing her teeth she hit play on the message and listened to the hurt in Clarke's voice. When Lexa crawled into bed, Titus was already on his pillow. She sulked and turned out the lights, curling into a ball facing away from the cat who seemed to have too much of a smug look on his face.

The rest of the week was busy and case took up most of her time, spending hours poring over paperwork next to Gustus in his office. By Friday Lexa couldn't tell what was worse, the stress of the case or the weight on her heart that she hadn't heard from Clarke again. She couldn't bring herself to call Clarke back. There wasn't enough time in the day when she knew Clarke would be free too to talk things out with her. She chewed her lip as her eyes followed the trail of paperwork across the table in Gustus’s office.

“Lexa… Lexa. _Heda!_ ” The harsh tone of Gustus’s voice infiltrated her buzzing mind.

“Sorry? What?” Lexa shook her head slightly.

“Your phone.” Gustus pointed to the buzzing object on the table. “It's been going off for the past two minutes. Clearly someone wants to speak with you. Why don't you take a break? Go home… take the night off. Go out, don't think about the case okay? You're way too stressed. Go have a drink Heda, I can finish things up here.”

Lexa let out a long sigh, letting her shoulders sag from their normal upright posture. “Are you sure? I don't want to leave you alone.”

“Lexa if I have to I will call security and have you escorted from the building. Go. Home.”

She gulped and nodded, reaching to give her god father a hug. It felt awkward at first but the two of them sank into the comfort of the embrace after a few seconds. “Thank you.” Lexa turned on her heel and left while scrolling through her phone. She rolled her eyes as she pressed the call button and headed into her office to collect her things. “Anya? What's going on? There's a party night at Trikru?”

“Oh my god! You answered your phone! It's a god damn miracle! Are you actually going to come?”

Lexa took a few minutes to collect her things and headed out the door as she chatted with Anya. She wrapped up the conversation as she walked past her secretary’s desk and looked at the girl still very focused on some of the work Lexa had handed her earlier. “Emori, I’m headed home. Well not home, actually out to see some friends. You should come along, everyone is always welcome at Trikru party nights.”

The girl stared at her blankly for a moment with one eyebrow raised. It took a moment for Lexa to register what was happening in the girl’s head. “Oh! God no… not like a date… I just figured you’ve been here as long as I have this week. Why not leave early and go have a drink… as colleagues. Purely as colleagues.”

\--

Clarke fought with Octavia as she tried to pull Clarke out of the apartment. “Look O, I get it, you want me to come out for the party. I’m dressed, I’m ready to go. Would you let me lock my door?”

Bellamy was standing in the hall leaning against her neighbor’s door.  “Alright Princess. Stop complaining. We’re getting you out of the house. Plus, you get to watch me butt heads with my sister’s boyfriend all night.  If that’s not an A+ distraction, I don’t know what is.”

“Shut up with the Princess nonsense. Otherwise, I can unlock this door and relock it with you on the wrong side of it. Preferably while hitting your nose. Which I might add, looks particularly oily today.”

“Aw, look at you trying to be insulting. It doesn’t become you, Clarke.” Bellamy punched her in the arm.

Clarke turned to him, growling. Octavia stepped in before the two got out of hand, “Alright, so off to Trikru right? I think we need some drinks before we kill each other.” She pushed the two in the direction of the elevator and they headed around the corner.

It was still early, the bar was only starting to fill up. Octavia hopped behind the bar and started a tab for them, throwing together their drinks while Lincoln moved in for a kiss.

“Aw, look at you two,” Clarke had arrived to carry the drinks over to their table. “So cute and in love.” She looked at Octavia, “Hey, maybe get a round of shots for us before you come over? Thanks.” Clarke grabbed her vodka soda and Bellamy’s IPA and headed back to the booth in the corner.

“God, are they usually this bad with the PDA?” Bellamy rolled his eyes as he swigged his beer.

“Honestly? Usually the bar is busier so they don’t have the time. But I think they’re doing it on purpose to bug you.” Clarke let her head fall in her hands.

“He would.” Bellamy was grimacing around his glass.

“Lincoln is a good guy, Bellamy. Shut up and let Octavia be happy for once. She’s a grown woman, more than capable of making her own decisions.” She stared blatantly across the booth at him. When he opened his mouth to protest, Clarke reached across as smacked the top of his head. “Just shut up and be nice.”

Octavia finally came over with her own drink and three shots. “Here we go, let’s get this party started.” They clinked their shot glasses together, bumped them on the table and kicked them back.

About an hour later two women walked into the bar. The one had grabbed Clarke’s attention because there was something about her that reminded Clarke of Lexa. She sat quietly, ignoring the conversation between Octavia and Bellamy, and instead watched the two women as they interacted with Lincoln.  She thought briefly of asking Octavia who they were, but decided to try and get back to the conversation. With that, the door opened again and in strode John Murphy, Bellamy’s old partner-in-crime so to speak from high school and college.

“Well, long time no see, Princess!”

“Shut it, Murphy. Or I’ll kick you out of here myself. Octavia, would Lincoln trust me enough to know I’m throwing out someone that doesn’t belong here?”

“Oh hell yes he would. Even if he didn’t trust you, he’d trust me to bounce his ass.” She glared at Murphy.

“Murph, just sit down.” Bellamy rolled his eyes.

The three of them settled into conversation, but Clarke was too busy staring at the bar still. Sure it was party night and Trikru was sure to be crowded, but there was something about that one woman that was bugging Clarke. She was still lost in her thoughts when Murphy, who had apparently left, came back with another round of shots.

“To our crew being back together.” Bellamy said taking a shot.

“Here, here.” Murphy responded.

Clarke took the shot and nearly choked. Not from the burn of the SoCo, but from who had just walked through the door.

Lexa and some other girl walked over to the two women at the bar. She watched as they hugged Lexa and she made introductions. Lexa hugged Lincoln over the bar, and then tapped the counter asking for a drink. Clarke couldn’t take her eyes off of her. She was fuming with a mixture of jealousy and anger. _Not only does she blow up at me in a text and then ignore me all week. Never bothering to apologize! I have to find out this way she’s got a girlfriend?_

She must have been staring too long because Octavia noticed. She had grabbed Clarke’s wrist asking, “Everything okay, Clarke?” Octavia followed Clarke’s eyes across the bar, “Oh, just talk to her, Clarke. She can’t be that mad.”

“O, we haven’t spoken in a week. Before that we were texting every day, she’s clearly mad. Plus, now it seems like she’s got her girlfriend over there.” Clarke nodded to the girl still standing a little too close to Lexa for her liking.

_Why do I even care if Lexa had a girlfriend? It’s not like I want to be her girlfriend. No, it’s just it would have been nice to know she had one!_

“What does that matter? She’s just your friend right? You wouldn’t let Lincoln keep you from talking to me, would you?”

“No… but O!” Clarke tried to protest, but it sounded more like a toddler whining to their mother.

“Clarke just,” Octavia’s phone started to buzz across the table. Clarke could only read the screen for a second before Octavia picked it up, “Sorry, I really need to get this. Just GO! Go talk to her, Clarke.”

Clarke was really confused, the only thing she had seen on the screen before O had picked it up was an ‘R’.  She sat there still, watching Octavia make a mad dash into the backroom to take the call.

Clarke sulked in the booth, her hands wrapped around her margarita glass. She looked over at the bar again. There _she_ was, laughing and looking at her _girlfriend_. _She’s not even that pretty. Wait, why do I care about that? This is so stupid. I just want to talk to her!_

Bellamy must have sensed her internal struggle, he put his arm around her as he asked, “You okay, Clarke? Sssssomething wrong? You want to go?”

Clarke could hear Bellamy’s voice starting to slur, she knew he had already had too much to drink. She knew she shouldn’t encourage him, but he was like her older brother. Clarke turned to look him in the eye. “No, it’s okay. I’ll be alright, Bell. So, what’s going on Murphy? Where you working now?”

Clarke barely listened, she made a mental note that Murphy was now working as a security guard across town and then started to tune him out. She just wanted O to come back.

When Octavia did come back to the table she looked flustered and panicked. “O, what’s wrong? Who was that?”

“Don’t worry about it, Clarke. I’m really sorry though guys. I have to go. I need to go help a friend.” Her phone rang in her hand again, and Clarke tried to swipe a look at it. She thought she saw –Ra- across the top of the screen. _Who the hell?_ O went tearing across the bar, pecked Lincoln goodbye and practically sprinted out the door.

If Bellamy hadn’t been so many shots in, Clarke was sure he would have been worried by now. Hell, she was shocked Bellamy wasn’t tearing out the door after his sister. Instead, Bellamy wrapped his arm tighter around Clarke and squeezed her. “Oh Clarkey, I hate seeing you so upset. You know you can tell me anything. Who’s got you so messed up, whose ass do I have to kick? What can I do to make you smile?” He was leaning closer to her face with each question and Clarke was getting more and more uncomfortable by the second.

\--

From the moment she walked into Trikru with Emori in tow, Lexa had been watching Clarke out of the corner of her eye.  Lexa swore she could feel Clarke’s anger emanating from across the bar.  Lexa had been too mad at herself all week to try to get in touch with Clarke again. If she was honest, if she were in Clarke’s shoes, she wouldn’t want to hear from her either, so she couldn’t blame Clarke for the cold stare she was throwing her way. _I really screwed up this time._

She gulped and tried to turn her focus back to the conversation going on at the bar. Emori seemed to be fitting right in with Anya and Lincoln, while Indra as usual remained ever skeptical. Lexa sipped her G&T and leaned against the bar observing as the floor slowly began to fill. “Should we grab a booth before they disappear or does everyone want to stay at the bar all night?”

Anya raised an eyebrow questioningly at her cousin. “You want a booth? Really?” She looked at Lincoln in hopes of gaining an explanation. Lincoln just shrugged and lightly tilted his head over toward the booth across the way. Anya followed his gaze and her eyes landed on a blonde who looked kind of uncomfortable stuck at the table with two guys who were obviously becoming more than intoxicated rather early on in the night. She turned back to Lincoln and mouthed

“Clarke?” She knew she was correct when Linc nearly choked as he faked a cough.

“I don’t know maybe we need some food for everyone?” Lexa’s voice was unfocused, even she didn’t recognize it. _God Lexa… get it together._ She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts and turned back to the group, getting absorbed in the conversation again.

Every few minutes though, Clarke would catch her eye, sending Lexa on an emotional spiral down as her heart jumped to her throat and sank into her stomach at the same time. She gulped. Anya kept noticing each time because suddenly Lexa’s left hand would clench on top of the bar and her jaw was shifting. “Hey Lex, bathroom?”

Lexa snapped out of it and nodded. “Yeah, let’s.”

Anya pulled her with her into the tiny ladies room at the back of the bar. “Look, you’re off. I know you’re off, and you keep looking at that blonde in the corner and she’s staring back at you. It’s Clarke, isn’t it?” She watched Lexa splashing water over her face. “ _Heda_ … _Chit’s gon daun?_ What’s wrong?” The words seemed to finally penetrate through Lexa’s brain, sinking into her.

“Don’t okay! I messed up! This case just has me so keyed up, An and Clarke… Clarke.” Lexa sighed, her head falling into her hands before she slammed them down on the edge of the sink.

“She caught me at a bad time, didn’t know… doesn’t know.”

“Lex, there was no way for her to know. I’m sure you haven’t told her about Cos.” Anya leaned against the door as someone tried to push inside. “Occupied.” She called through the door and slammed the lock into the latch. She could see Lexa was seething. “Aaaaand! And you don’t have to.” Anya crossed her arms

“But, clearly you think I should.” Lexa rolled her eyes and shook her head. Her eyes squeezed shut as she rubbed her temples. “Anyway, I kind of blew up at her in a text and then never said anything all week. But this case… this case could be a step in the right direction, An.” Her eyes pleaded for understanding.

“You lash out at us, Lex and we expect it. But it’s been two years. It’s time to start letting go, tell her! Talk to her. Don’t let a little thing like this ruin a new _friendship_ for you.” Anya sighed and let her arms hang. She let her head bang against the door once. “My little cousin, _ai seken_ , _Heda._ Talk to her. I don’t like seeing you like this. You’re scared. I can see it in your eyes.” Anya dropped her head to catch Lexa’s eyes as she tried to look at the ground. “I don’t know everything that is going on inside your head, but you’re never afraid. Not my _Heda._ She had you laughing, don’t let this come between you. I need to hear your laugh again.”

Lexa gulped and raised her head as her jaw shifted. “ _Ai laik nou yun seken noumou._ I’m not your second anymore. But you’re right, An. I need to go talk to her.” She moved to unlatch the lock, but Anya stood still and grasped her shoulder.

“Take a moment. You look like you’re on the verge on tears.” She huffed at Lexa and nodded toward the mirror. “Look.”

“Fine!” Lexa huffed and took a few moments to breathe and collect herself before Anya let her past. She moved out of the bathroom and stepped sideways to lean against the wall. She was debating whether she wanted a little more liquid courage when the booth caught her attention.

The man sitting next to Clarke was leaning in too close for her liking and Clarke clearly wasn’t receiving it too well as she shirked away from his touch as best as she could, nearly falling out of the booth in the process. Clarke gave him a push back and turned back to grab her drink. Lexa watched as his arm swung over her and pulled her close. “Bellamy! Get off of me! You’re being disgusting.” His hand dropped lower and snuck under Clarke’s arm.

It was enough for Lexa, she stalked across the bar and easily untangled Clarke from _Bellamy’s_ arm. She pulled her away from the table. “And that’s enough from you. Clearly the lady is not consenting and you sir are trashed. Linc! I think someone needs to be bounced out of here.”

Clarke was staring wide-eyed at Lexa, speechless. “Clarke, can I get you another margarita, because I think this one,” Lexa reached down to the table and dumped the contents of the glass over Bellamy’s head. “Belongs on his head.”

Clarke nearly snorted as ice cubes and tequila dripped down through Bellamy’s hair. “You kind of deserve it, Bell. Get out of here.”

Bellamy stood up out of the booth, towering a few inches over Lexa. “You think you can just march over here and _rescue_ her like that? I knooow you. I know who you are. You’re the reason sssssshe’s been crying all weeeeek. Right Clarke? This is…” His tongue seemed to get caught on his teeth as he searched for her name. “Leeeeexa!” One finger came up in the air in a not so kindly gesture, as spit flew from his mouth.

“Ew! Bellamy! What the hell!” Clarke tried to push between Bell and Lexa. Neither was backing down from a now locked gaze as one of the women that had come in earlier walked over.

“Alright sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave now or I am going to need to arrest you for public intoxication.” Indra glared at Lexa and tapped Bellamy on the shoulder, showing him the door. “Let’s go.”

The bar had gone almost dead silent as Indra escorted Bellamy outside with a bumbling and fumbling John Murphy in tow. It then erupted in applause before the patrons returned to their own conversations. “Lincoln, I’m sorry… I can take care of the tab…” Clarke looked apologetically across the room.

“It’s on O’s tab, but trust me. She’s not paying it. Don’t worry Clarke.” Lincoln shook his head.

“Don’t you worry about it one minute, now? Are you okay?”

Lexa watched Clarke nod. She leaned over and grabbed her bag. “Thanks for that.” She looked awkwardly at Lexa. “I’ll let you get back to your girlfriend. Sorry about all that. You shouldn’t have had to rescue me like that.” Without another word she turned on her heel and headed out the front door.

_My girlfriend?_ _Oh... god!_ “Clarke wait!” Lexa ran over to the bar, but Anya was already holding her computer bag out for her.

“Go. Go get her.” Anya nodded. “Don’t be afraid, _Heda._ _Hodnes nou laik kwelnes._ ”

Lexa nodded and grabbed her bag, tearing out of Trikru after Clarke. She turned up 13th street, “Clarke wait!” She sighed as Clarke halted on the sidewalk and turned around.

“What Lexa? What, do you need to yell at me in person now too?” Clarke’s hands flew up in a gesture of defeat.

Lexa ran over to her. “No, nothing like that. I’m… I am sorry, Clarke. I should have called. I should have explained…”

“Damn right. What the hell Lexa? What did I do? I don’t understand. All I wanted was to see you, to grab a drink, a coffee. Have a half hour or so with you. Why was that too much to ask?” Clarke heaved a heavy sigh and stared back at Lexa.

“It…” Lexa struggled to find the right words. “There’s a lot to tell you, but it’s not… it’s not easy for me, Clarke.” Her eyes averted Clarke’s as her breath hitched in her throat. She shook her head and inhaled slowly. “Look, first off, I don’t know who you think was my girlfriend, but I’d would like to set the record straight. I _am_ single.” Lexa couldn’t figure out why she needed to clarify that first for Clarke, but it felt important. She looked at her friend as her words washed over her.   _At least I hope she’s still my friend._

Clarke’s jaw dropped slightly before her brow furrowed. She turned scarlet red under the street lights and the sign from the pizza place across the street. “Oh. I just thought…” Clarke chewed on her bottom lip and Lexa caught herself in a thought of wanting to bite it. “I don’t know what I thought actually.”

“Well… yeah… The women with me were my cousin, her boss and my secretary from work. Just a Trikru party night actually. I had no idea you were going to be at the bar, but now that I think of it of course you were there. Octavia.”

Clarke said her friend’s name in tandem with Lexa. “Yeah, she and her brother dragged me out of my apartment tonight. I didn’t think of it though, of course actual Trikru showed up for party night…” Her right foot shifted awkwardly under her as she watched Lexa.

Lexa exhaled slowly, preparing herself to take a risk. “Hey, don’t feel obligated to say yes, but would you like to come back to my place and give me a chance to explain? It’s getting a little chilly out here and it’s kind of a long story.”

Clarke took a moment to think, then nodded. “Sure, why not. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

“Thanks Clarke. How about we get some cookies and head back?” Lexa pointed up the street to the local cookie delivery place.

Clarke nodded, “But you’re paying.”

“Oh! Of course!” Lexa started to chuckle as a small smile spread across her face. “I certainly owe you that much. Let’s go.” She hiked the strap of her computer bag farther up on her shoulder and headed up the street with Clarke on the inside of the sidewalk.

Inside the small cramped storefront, Lexa walked up to the girl behind the counter and asked for a box of a dozen cookies. “Go ahead Clarke, order yours.” She smiled and listened as Clarke ordered two double chocolate chunk, a double chocolate mint and three chocolate chunk cookies. Her expression only grew, “Okay chocolate fiend. My turn. Two oatmeal raisin, two snickerdoodle, one white chocolate macadamia and one peanut butter please.”

Clarke shot her a sideways glance, “Oatmeal raisin? Are you serious Lexa?”

“What? It’s like breakfast and a cookie at the same time!” Lexa raised her eyebrows and shrugged. “Don’t judge me…” She turned to the girl behind the counter, accepting the box and handing over some cash before getting her change. She gestured to the door.

Clarke held up her hands and laughed, “Not judging. Just didn’t expect that, although I totally saw the peanut butter coming.”

“Oh of course. Let’s head back.” They slowly made their way across town and into Lexa’s apartment building. She scanned her access card and waved to the security guard at the desk. She didn’t miss his double take as Clarke followed her through the gate to the elevators. They headed up to the 20th floor and back around the corner from the elevator. “Well this is it home sweet home.” Lexa produced her key and unlocked the door. “Hello my little love!” She set her computer back down and picked up Titus.

Clarke took one step into the apartment and let the door shut behind her as Lexa held the cat out towards her. “Clarke, this is Titus.”

She tried to greet the cat, but was met with a harsh hiss and a snarl from the cat as he flailed and screeched his way out of Lexa’s arms. He fled hurriedly to the other side of the apartment where the door was still closed, sitting himself down in front  of it as if to guard it.

“Titus! That was incredibly rude! How dare you.” Lexa scolded the cat before turning back to Clarke. “I’m so sorry, usually he’s okay with strangers. Give him a few minutes, I’m sure he’ll come around.” She peered around Clarke at Titus and flashed angry wide eyes in his direction. His head drooped a bit and she nodded sharply. “Sorry, come on in. Take off your shoes, get comfy. The living room is just through here.”

Lexa brought Clarke farther into the apartment and watched her eyes go wide.

“Lex, this apartment…” Clarke wandered over to one of the windows, “This view is incredible Lexa!” Clarke turned to survey the rest of the room. “You have a piano on the 20th floor? How the?”

“Don’t ask. It was a _nightmare_.” Lexa laughed as she bustled through the open kitchen. She pulled down two small plates and arranged their cookies carefully. Two glasses were next, “Milk Clarke?”

Clarke turned around to the sound of Lexa’s voice. “Oh, sure!” She came back over to the kitchen, grabbed a bar stool and sat down. “Thanks, Lex.” The shock of the apartment had worn off, she was now staring awkwardly at the counter tracing designs on it with her finger. She cursed to herself as she realized she was still tracing the lines of Lexa’s face, her jaw and her cheekbones.

Lexa poured the milk and felt the awkwardness grow as Clarke fell silent. “I’m so sorry, Clarke. Will you let me explain now?”

“Hold on…” Clarke reached over and pulled the plate with her cookies towards her, along with a glass. “Okay, go ahead.” She broke off a piece of a chocolate chunk cookie and dunked it into her milk.

“So you have some idea of who is involved with this case. Well, the reason I’ve been working so hard with Gustus on this line of prosecution is in a way kind of personal. A few years ago there was a case I was working on with someone who was very close to me.” Lexa took a deep breath and took a sip of milk. “It’s still really difficult for me to talk about this.”

Clarke could see Lexa still struggling to find the right words. “Did something happen to them?”

“Yes, something happened to her. It’s been absolutely awful trying to get over the pain. But, this case…” Lexa looked at Clarke with eyes now gone cold. Cold but smoldering with anger, the kind of anger that’s been buried deep and never really goes away. She gulped.

“This case could help with getting over that?” Clarke hoped she wasn’t pushing Lexa too far. The look in her eyes had her chewing on her lip slightly.

Lexa nodded silently with her eyes closed, “yes. It really could and I’ve been so focused on that I’ve gotten a bit too far into my head this week. I let that get in the way of this new _friendship_ and for that I’m sorry. This… You… You are the first person, the first _friend_ I’ve met since then. I should have explained, I should have called you and told you, I should have…”

“Lex, it’s okay. You were stressed and now… now I at least have some understanding of why. I’m sorry too, I wouldn’t have pushed so much if I knew.” Clarke reached out and touched Lexa’s hand on the counter.

“You shouldn’t be apologizing. Please, Clarke.” She broke off a piece of her peanut butter cookie and popped it into her mouth. She swallowed quickly. “I’m so sorry.”

“I just felt you pushing away and… I didn’t want to lose you. I just… I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me things like this. If I had known I would have…” Clarke held her hands up and sighed.

“No… I wouldn’t have let you anyway Clarke. Tonight was the first night in a week that I’ve gone out at all and haven’t come home to stare at more paperwork and puzzle over more words. Honestly, the only reason I was out was because Gustus made me leave work early. I can be incredibly stubborn. But you’re right I did try to push you away. That was awful of me.” Lexa moved around the counter to the same side as Clarke.

“Lexa Woods what are you doing?” Clarke quirked an eyebrow up as Lexa held her hand out to Clarke. “Are you asking me to dance right now?”

Lexa snorted as Clarke stood up from her stool. “No…” Lexa fell to the floor, dropping to her knees in front of her new friend. “I’m so sorry, Clarke. I’m not going to let myself push you away again. This new friendship, it’s something I’d like to keep, and if you’ll still have me as your friend I vow to do my best to communicate with you to the best of my abilities. It might not always come easy for me, but I want to do better…”

Clarke stared down at Lexa, noting how she was shifting slightly between her knees, and the feeling of her fingers in Clarke’s hand. _They’re so long and so delicate…_ She snapped herself out of it. “Good! You’d better! I mean… Lexa are you still drunk because this is ridiculous, stand up.” She pulled Lexa to her feet. “You didn’t actually need to beg for my forgiveness! Come here!” Clarke pulled her friend into a tight hug. “All is well, and I want to be your _friend_.” The word felt strange to her yet again. _Why the hell? Brain shut up, I don’t need this right now._

Lexa let out a sigh of relief, letting herself sink into Clarke’s embrace just a little more. “Thank you.”

They both pulled away from the hug at the same time and turned back to the counter. Lexa joined Clarke on the other bar stool and they carefully dunked their cookies together. The silence wasn’t awkward as Lexa watched Clarke gulp down her milk before she wiped away her milk mustache.

“So you have a friend who is a cop?” Clarke raised an eyebrow suddenly remembering the bad ass woman who had thrown Bellamy out of the bar.

“Oh yeah! Two… she’s my cousin’s boss. Indra can be a bit of a hard ass. I hope you didn’t mind me doing that…. Is that Octavia’s brother?” Lexa finished munching on her last cookie.

“Yeah, that’s Bellamy. I’ve known him for years. But thanks for the rescue, he really was being an ass tonight.” Clarke rolled her eyes. “I’m sure Murphy got him home okay. He was a mess though.”

“I hope so. He needed to be put in a cold shower if you ask me.” Lexa shook her head recalling the way Bellamy had tried to drunkenly cozy up to Clarke. She felt a twinge of jealousy and the need to protect Clarke rise up again. _She’s your friend Lexa. You just got her back. Chill!_

 Clarke nodded and then tried to change the subject, “So, I know it’s not Sunday night… but would you maybe mind playing something for me?” Clarke pointed toward the piano. “I… I’ve missed your playing.”

Lexa let a smile grow across her face as she finished her own milk. “Well, it’s not Sunday, but I think I can make an exception for my new friend.” She hopped off her stool and headed over to the piano. She sat down on the bench and stretched her fingers wide before settling over the keys. The melody of “Moon River” filled the air, followed by Lexa’s voice. “Moon River, wider than a mile, I’m crossing you in style someday.”

As Lexa continued to sing, her foot working on the pedals underneath the instrument Clarke made her way over to the bench and sat down carefully next to Lexa. The song finished and Clarke was left with a smile on her face. She met Lexa’s eyes. “Thank you, it was beautiful.”

Lexa fought herself, gulping down her urge to reply “So are _you_ ,” as she gazed into Clarke’s eyes. Their blue was mesmerizing. Instead she found herself asking if Clarke had any requests instead.

“What’s that _old_ song…?” Clarke rolled her eyes as she teased Lexa.

“Clarke! Just because it’s old doesn’t mean it’s terrible. Come on. Don’t pick on me and my love of classics.” Lexa shoved her shoulder into Clarke playfully.

“Okay fine, but it’s something about friendship.” Clarke chewed on her lip thinking for a minute. “It’s from that show Sutton Foster was in forever ago.”

“Clarke… It’s from _Anything Goes_ and it’s called ‘It’s Friendship’! It happens to go a little something like this.” Lexa started the familiar song. “If you’re ever in a jam, here I am. If you’re ever in a mess, S-O-S.” Lexa turned her head and happily sang the tune to her friend. Titus made his way into the room and lurked in the corner, staring at Clarke.

“It’s friendship, friendship. Just a perfect blendship. When other friendships are up a crick, ours will still be slick.” Clarke joined Lexa for the last nonsensical refrain and they shared a laugh as the piano bench creaked. “I think that’s what we’ve got here Lexa.”

“Oh? What exactly Clarke?” Lexa raised an eyebrow as she tried to catch her breath.

“The perfect blendship of course! You’re stuck with me now you know.” Clarke lightly punched Lexa in the shoulder and smiled right back. Titus hissed in the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been away forever, I know. So sorry... I had terrible writer's block with this chapter. Absolutely terrible. But things are a little different now, lots of life has happened between the previous chapter and this one for me. I hope you enjoy! I do intend to finish this, no matter how long it takes me. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there lovelies! Thanks for reading! Comments/constructive criticism is always appreciated. There's going to be a lot of music in these chapters and it's going to all be important :) If you don't know these songs take a listen :D I'm keeping a running playlist on YouTube as I add songs to the story. http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLj3VIqIwu2BmwgE8Mdy8_hzD9cvOdvAN9
> 
> Hope you stick with me through this, it's going to be a long one!
> 
> Come talk to me on Tumblr too where I'm also CeSelle29!


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